Well... I had...powers. I could move the earth. But I wasn't very good at it. I...lost control a lot. Hurt...a lot of people. When Beastboy and his team found me, he...well, they took me in, not knowing what I'd done. And-- Beastboy found out, and I promised him not to tell, and this, this monster, Slade, he planted these stupid doubts in my head that he would, and...
...It all fell apart. I left, and I tried, to help on my own, but... [She hates this part the most.] I screwed up. Got in trouble. Almost...killed a lot of people, and myself. But Slade, he...was following me. Showed up, fixed things, said he'd train me to control my powers, and...I thought I didn't have a choice, he said I owed him, so...
I did. And when I could, he made me go back, join the Titans-- the team, and...spy on them, and I told him everything, for weeks and weeks.
[She ran a hand through her hair.] I messed up. I...panicked, he launched an attack, and before he could, I took Beastboy out, on a date, to...I don't know, save him? I...couldn't save all of them, but... I was stupid.
[She remembers. And...] ...It didn't work out, nothing did, he hated me, because why shouldn't he? And I...
...I did a lot of bad things. A lot. [Her voice shakes. It's been shaking for awhile.] The city, the Titans, Beastboy, I-- all of Slade's orders, I followed them, until I got scared, and he turned on me too, and I-- I--
Slade was down, gone, I, made sure of that, but I started a volcano, I used too much power, and so I stopped it, and...
[She stares at her hand, flesh, whole.] It left me a statue, for months. When I came out of it, I didn't...know who I was, or anything. My parents-- step-parents, they found me. Arranged...some things, got me...settled away, and I started to remember, and I just...wanted to be normal. Because I couldn't mess that up too.
I told Beastboy I didn't know him. Lied. Again. Sent him away. ...And I'm here, and I'm...he knows, about all this, that. But I keep...hurting him, in all these ways, and now... I'm not ready to deal with this, I've only just started dealing with trying to...be a hero again.
[Action] good god i am sorry
...It all fell apart. I left, and I tried, to help on my own, but... [She hates this part the most.] I screwed up. Got in trouble. Almost...killed a lot of people, and myself. But Slade, he...was following me. Showed up, fixed things, said he'd train me to control my powers, and...I thought I didn't have a choice, he said I owed him, so...
I did. And when I could, he made me go back, join the Titans-- the team, and...spy on them, and I told him everything, for weeks and weeks.
[She ran a hand through her hair.] I messed up. I...panicked, he launched an attack, and before he could, I took Beastboy out, on a date, to...I don't know, save him? I...couldn't save all of them, but... I was stupid.
[She remembers. And...] ...It didn't work out, nothing did, he hated me, because why shouldn't he? And I...
...I did a lot of bad things. A lot. [Her voice shakes. It's been shaking for awhile.] The city, the Titans, Beastboy, I-- all of Slade's orders, I followed them, until I got scared, and he turned on me too, and I-- I--
Slade was down, gone, I, made sure of that, but I started a volcano, I used too much power, and so I stopped it, and...
[She stares at her hand, flesh, whole.] It left me a statue, for months. When I came out of it, I didn't...know who I was, or anything. My parents-- step-parents, they found me. Arranged...some things, got me...settled away, and I started to remember, and I just...wanted to be normal. Because I couldn't mess that up too.
I told Beastboy I didn't know him. Lied. Again. Sent him away. ...And I'm here, and I'm...he knows, about all this, that. But I keep...hurting him, in all these ways, and now... I'm not ready to deal with this, I've only just started dealing with trying to...be a hero again.