themainframe | 008 // [Video]

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008 // [Video]

[It's that time again! Wheeljack's here to clear up any and all confusion you people might have about this place. And maybe some tips for those who might be slightly not-human. Don't worry, though! His advice is accurate.

For the most part.

The feed opens up to show him on the couch of his apartment, pretty much just lounging out.]

So, we got an influx of newbies during that blackout, huh. Guess that means it'll be question time again unless someone clears up a few things. And you know me, I like to please people.

[Or annoy the crap out of them. Either way.]

Place is called the Digital World. And no, ya can't leave. Seriously, don't even try.

[There's a little pink ball of fluff curled on his stomach, poking a head up.]

Wow, you're getting right down to it, aren't you.

[With a little smirk, he pushes her head back down, back to sleep or whatever she was doing. Those eyes, however, go back to the ceiling in thought.]

Oh yeah, you're not human here. Yeah, I know. It's fraggin' impossible to do anything. But as long as ya follow the three rules, you'll make it. One. Clothes are your armor. It's pretty bad at bein' armor, but it's all ya got, so get used to it. Two, ya gotta refuel all day every day. Don't worry, their food's pretty good, and they got alcohol--pretty much defined as drink of choice. And three, breathin'. Probably should have covered breathin' first...but you've got to do it. It comes pretty naturally though, so I wouldn't worry unless you're turnin' blue in the face and too stupid to take a cue. [Misfire.]

Oh, and stop livin' on phone booths. You know who you are.

[He takes this moment to look at the crest he attached to his dog tags, inspecting it.]

You're probably going to get maimed here. Hate to say it, but pretty low chance of it -not- happenin. Things attack the city, so until we got some kind of boy scout troops or build a wall, you're gonna have to defend yourself with your little annoyance that follows you around.

I heard that!

Good. [Back to the camera] But, treat your weapon [he gestures to the Gazimon on his stomach] well, get better weapon. Good advice.

[He takes another look at the crest before looking down at You again.]

By the way, we're movin' out.

[And just like that, her head perks up.]

We are??

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[Sprocket doesn't seem all that concerned. In fact, he rolls his eyes.]

Crest of Locked Doors.

[And he freezes once he gets there, hearing the 'locked doors', part.

Then, a small, soft knock on the door.]

...

Crest of Knocking Politely.

[PFFT, your polite knocks are no match for the mighty power of tapir.]

Crest of GO AWAY!

[Yes, he shouts. After all, he wants to make sure Wheeljack hears him.]

Crest of If-you-don't-open-this-door-I-swear-to-Primus-

Wheeljack, that's way too specific.

[Gosh, you just don't understand how this stuff works.]

What are you gonna do? Break it? Yeah, I bet Arcee is REEEEAAAALLY gonna like that. Go on. Break the door.

[You can almost hear the delight in his voice. He's having a good time with this. Just how many buttons can he push?]

Crest of I'm Waiting.

What, ya think I'm stupid?

[Don't answer that. But still, he's not that thickheaded to burst through Arcee's door. If it was just Sprocket's room, that'd be different.]

Crest of He's Waiting.

Yeah, well so are we.

You're gonna be waiting for a really really long time. ...Want me to sing you a song while you wait?!

[And without waiting for an answer, he starts making annoying screeching noises.]

[He wants to wring your little throat right now, Sprocket. But you can almost feel that rage through the door.]

M-Music to my ears!

[You's trying to keep her laughter in, but it's failing miserably.]

SPROCKET.

[The best thing about this is that there's nothing Wheeljack can do about it. Sprocket makes himself nice and comfy next to the door, still making those god awful noises in between sentences.]

WHEELJACK. See? I can do it, too.

Edited 2013-09-20 21:28 (UTC)

[Nothing, eh? He's got one trump card.

There's silence on the other side of the door for a few minutes, before--]

Wait no--what are you doin--WHEELJACK! AHH! STOP THAT! I can't--

You--S-Stop!!

[Wheeljack's plan must've worked because that door can't swing open any faster.

Only problem is that isn't a Tapirmon on the other side of it.]

WHO DO I HAVE TO DESTROY?!

[Mission accomplished, although there's a bull-sized problem now in his way. Wheeljack's cradling You in his arms, in the process of tickling her when that door swings open.]

!! My hero!

Unless you want the horns going through your gut, I suggest you let the lady down.

[He snorts and paws at the carpet with his hoof. Tickling or not, you do not make his precious angel from above cry out for help.]

[Despite how he would usually take one up on that threat, he drops You. She lands on her feet, almost cat-like, immediately changing into Sheepmon and trotting over, headtouching her 'savior'.]

I knew you'd come for me!

Okay, step aside, lovebirds.

[Sprocket returns the headtouch lovingly with his own before getting all up in Wheeljack's biz. He snorts and blocks the door completely, not budging for a second.]

I'm sorry, I don't recall you being invited.

[Okay, he could deal with games before, but now--]

Look. I got her upset, and--[His voice lowers down a few notches.] I wanna check on her.

Now unless you wanna explain why you impaled me right outside her apartment feel free.

[He holds up his hands, almost daring the bull.]

Wheeljack!

[He snorts again, only this time to make sure it's directly in his face. Mostly because he knows he can, there's not much Wheeljack can do to him in this form.]

I would, but this blasted honor code keeps me from skewering unarmed animals. Get a butter knife and maybe next time.

[...He's still not moving.]

She probably doesn't want to see you anyway.

[His eyes close as the bull snorts at him, putting on a face of annoyance rather than fear.]

I don't have time for this. You. Do your thing.

[She perks her ears. Does this mean she can be girlfriend? Oh. This is so girlfriend excuse. Yes. This counts.]

Sprocketttt~ I'd love to snuggle on the couch with you.

[Have you ever seen someone's mood change so instantly?]

I-I LOVE COUCHES! LET'S GO!!

[And with that he prances off. Literally prances. Enjoy that sight, Wheeljack. Let it haunt you.]

[He'll just actively try to delete that image from his mind as the two start to get comfy on the couch. With Sprocket out of the way, he can check for it's other resident.]

'Cee?

[Might as well try her door first.]

[Her door is probably the best door to check because she's, in fact, in her bedroom. Sitting on the bed actually, her back facing the door. It's hard to see, obviously, but it looks like she has an apple slice in her mouth.]

What are you doing here?

[She's surprisingly good at talking with apple in her mouth.]

[He'd compliment her on her ability to talk with an apple in her mouth, but...maybe at a later point. Right now...he'll just lean on the doorframe lazily.]

Well uh...thought I'd check on ya. I mean, you sent the D-Terminal flyin'.

[Since it is just a slice, it doesn't take her very long to finish it up. She looks over her shoulder when it's gone.]

You say that like it was the first time or something.

First time I got an up close and personal look at it.

[He tries to smile, if only to lighten the mood, but it's short lived.]

Look...I get it. Nothin' more after this.

Uh huh, this of course coming from the Wrecker.

[When did he start playing by her rules? Okay, sure, she throws them at him a lot, but she was expecting more resistance.]

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