themainframe | 008 // [Video]

[It's that time again! Wheeljack's here to clear up any and all confusion you people might have about this place. And maybe some tips for those who might be slightly not-human. Don't worry, though! His advice is accurate.

For the most part.

The feed opens up to show him on the couch of his apartment, pretty much just lounging out.]

So, we got an influx of newbies during that blackout, huh. Guess that means it'll be question time again unless someone clears up a few things. And you know me, I like to please people.

[Or annoy the crap out of them. Either way.]

Place is called the Digital World. And no, ya can't leave. Seriously, don't even try.

[There's a little pink ball of fluff curled on his stomach, poking a head up.]

Wow, you're getting right down to it, aren't you.

[With a little smirk, he pushes her head back down, back to sleep or whatever she was doing. Those eyes, however, go back to the ceiling in thought.]

Oh yeah, you're not human here. Yeah, I know. It's fraggin' impossible to do anything. But as long as ya follow the three rules, you'll make it. One. Clothes are your armor. It's pretty bad at bein' armor, but it's all ya got, so get used to it. Two, ya gotta refuel all day every day. Don't worry, their food's pretty good, and they got alcohol--pretty much defined as drink of choice. And three, breathin'. Probably should have covered breathin' first...but you've got to do it. It comes pretty naturally though, so I wouldn't worry unless you're turnin' blue in the face and too stupid to take a cue. [Misfire.]

Oh, and stop livin' on phone booths. You know who you are.

[He takes this moment to look at the crest he attached to his dog tags, inspecting it.]

You're probably going to get maimed here. Hate to say it, but pretty low chance of it -not- happenin. Things attack the city, so until we got some kind of boy scout troops or build a wall, you're gonna have to defend yourself with your little annoyance that follows you around.

I heard that!

Good. [Back to the camera] But, treat your weapon [he gestures to the Gazimon on his stomach] well, get better weapon. Good advice.

[He takes another look at the crest before looking down at You again.]

By the way, we're movin' out.

[And just like that, her head perks up.]

We are??

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Flash Grenades.

[Whirl sounds so disappointed at hearing that, and he looked so damned cheerful at seeing actual honest to goodness weapons.

And for a moment he's peering at the screen, considering that last part Wheeljack said and then finally he speaks.]

Gimme some time, maybe I can sniff out something better to work with than what you've found. Might not be enriched nucleon that I find but it's gotta be better than nothing.

That's just it, buddy.

Ya can make em blow up all of Sandokhan if you want, but it won't lay a scratch on the creatures here.

[It's embarrassing that flash grenades are all he has to show for it.]

Most ya can do is...backup.

Backup is better than doing nothing.

[It'll be more embarrassing for Whirl if he can't actually join in the fights, he might go crazy... crazier.]

Then flash grenades are the closest ya get, sparky.

[He knows the feeling, Whirl.]

But...they do take to punches pretty well.

Frag it.

[And he's going to look at a hand, flexing his fingers and grinning.]

I can do punches, a lot easier now too.

Just don't get yourself fragged, or I'll never let you live it down.

I didn't get fragged in a four million year war, do you really think some freaky organics are going to take me out now?

I dunno. You're a tad smaller, sparky.

[He holds up his finger and thumb about an inch from each other.]

Just a bit.

That just means I'm harder to hit.

[Nyeh, he's sticking out his tongue. ]

Unlike somebot around here.

Easier to grab, though.

[Yeah, he's gonna go there, midgit.]

Hey, I'm average.

You wish.

[Watch it, big guy.]

If by average you mean bigger than Grimlock? Then yeah, you're frikking average.

Heyyyy~ Hey.

Let's not jump the gun, short stuff.

[There's a smirk. Guess who's taking advantage of your body situation too.]

Maybe compared to scraplets, I am.

Not jumping anything there, big guy.

[Pffft, if they were in their regular bodies Whirl knows he'd be taller than 'Jack.]

So just how big are the scraplets in your world then? I didn't know they came in jumbo sizes.

[And to demonstrate his point, he holds his finger and thumb apart, measuring it up to 'her' over the feed.]

'bout your size.

Uh-huh, like I'm to believe you?

[This is just going to keep on going like this isn't it?]

You know it'd just be quicker if you both stopped trying to be smart and just called each other "short" and "fat".

[Yep, pretty much.]

Yeeeep. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a thing between them.

At least they're not breaking anything if it does become a thing?

Don't say that! You'll jinx us!

[This is Whirl and Wheeljack we're talking about. The potential for something to blow up is off the charts.]

O-oh come on, it can't end up that bad? Right?

[Blow something up and end up killing someone in the process, yes. A 100% chance of happening.]

008 // [Video]

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