8th Shot Fired [video]

[oneeyedterror]

[Look, it's everyone's favourite one eyed 12 year old girl who is actually a 4 million year old robot dude!

... and it looks like as he's talking to you all? Jetstream is braiding his hair, and it doesn't look like Whirl is stopping the digimon.]

Look, I kinda get that humans don't live too long and all that scrap. But you guys make up a lot of frikking reasons to have parties. And some of them are really silly, [Jetstream sort of tugs on his hair, which gets an ow.] no offense to like. Roze and her year party.

[Cause he likes Roze, but everyone else?]

Like "birthdays". Just have a frikking party because you want to, really.

[Another hair yank followed by another ow, and a huff.]

Or just think of something frikking better to celebrate.

[And then he adds, as almost like an after thought.]

Oh yeah and that annoying slagheap Misfire doesn't seem to be here anymore. Frikking pity, really.

Comments

[oneeyedterror]

"Birthdays".

[HE SHALL FOREVER STICK WITH THAT BEING A DUMB REASON, ok ok.]

[fullofthorns]

So a parent can't celebrate the life they were blessed with and be grateful their child is healthy and survived? [ She asks, arching a brow and reaching off screen for a drink, sipping briefly. ]

A child can't be more special than everyone else for one day out of the year?

Or a man with cancer, wondering every day if the next might be his last can't celebrate surviving another year of battling an enemy he can't see, tearing him apart from the inside?

Birthdays have a lot of meaning to a lot of people. Especially a race as fragile and finite as humans. Say you've lived millions of years, yeah? If you only had 90 parties in all those millions of years, that wouldn't be many parties at all, right?

Most humans are lucky to have 90 years to live at all. So pretend they've gotta cram millions of years of living and experiences into less than a hundred.

You'd party too.

[oneeyedterror]

Nah, I'd probably try to get it over with as soon as possible. Being stuck human that is.

[The rest just went right over his head, because hahaha... Parents? Children? And let us not touch human diseases.

Anything Whirl could say on that topic would be very insulting and disturbing and awful.]

And I barely party. I just like drinking.

[fullofthorns]

Hm. Well, if you drink without parties, you're usually just a gross drunk. Parties are a pretty good excuse for drinking. [ She grinned, giving him a thumbs up. ]

Don't be such a grumbly shitbird, old man. If you were human, you'd understand. Tryin' to explain human reasons to a gazillion year old robot is like trying to explain poetry to a birdbath.

[oneeyedterror]

The only excuse other than "I want to get fragged", really. [He smiles back.]

It's over four million, Pinky. I'm not that frikking old.

[DOES HE LOOK LIKE CYCLONUS, damned 6 million year old asshole.]

[fullofthorns]

That's so old you were probably around before the planet figured out how to rotate. [ She scoffed, cocking a brow. ]

Wha~t a false advertisement you are, huh? Wanderin' around like a little girl. You're like an internet predator warning. Fat, greasy forty-year-old on the other end of the line, pretendin' to be a ten-year-old girl.

Pfft. You gotta get better at passin' for a girl, man. Seriously.

[oneeyedterror]

Maybe your planet.

[He'd make another face but, owch. Jetstream needs to get better at hair braiding, or just stop with the well timed hair pulls.]

I have no frikking idea what any of that means, brat. And I pass just fine for myself.

[fullofthorns]

For yourself ain't the point. You're supposed to pass around other people, right? Like...its a disguise or somethin'?

You should hang out with Miwako and I. We were plannin' a sleepover but I dunno where the plans went with that and I'm way tied up with the festival.

[oneeyedterror]

The holoform is to keep organics from flipping out about us being on their planet. Cause not every place is fond of Cybertronians, you know.

[So, kind of a disguise but not really. Whirl only used his on Hedonia that one time, so he's no expert.]

Aw, too bad. [Sarcasm, he has it.] Sounds like it would've been frikking fun.

[fullofthorns]

It woulda been if you weren't such a fuckin' crabby pants. Man, seriously, you need to learn to do chick shit and have a good time sans booze. Or even fightin'....I'm...kinda learnin' that myself, really.

Its pretty bizarre but I mean, hey, if you can't do it, that's cool. [ She shrugs, rolling her eyes skyward. ] Sad fact, but hey, some bots just ain't cut out for some jobs, obviously. True story, bro. Misfire was better at blending than you. HAHA!

[oneeyedterror]

[His eye narrows a bit dangerously, it is on now Roze.]

That's because Misfire is probably the most frikking pathetic Cybertronian to exist.

... And still be alive.

[fullofthorns]

I dunno. I'd say bein' some bad-ass mega-bot trapped in a little baby girl body is pretty pathetic. [ she mused, tapping her chin and looking at the ceiling. ]

I mean, you're supposed to be some kinda big deal, but you're pretty inflexible and not at all suited for anything like...half covert, even. You couldn't pass for a girl if you tried. Heck, you'd be spotted in no time and blown to smithereens. At least Misfire coulda made it through the front door.

You play it tough and make a lotta puffed up claims but I mean, if you were so good you wouldn't have to bury it under all that bluster.

[oneeyedterror]

You're comparing me to a Decepticon named Misfire.

And I ain't made for covert anything. I used to be a Wrecker, you know what Wreckers do? We went in where no other fragger dared to go and we frikking cleaned scrap up. You don't need to be "covert" for that.

[And he huffs.]

That and it ain't like we have "girls" naturally you know.

[fullofthorns]

[ Screech. Hold up. ]

What?

No girls? Holy bajeezus. What the hell...why the eff are you a goddamn little girl then, you goddamned genius?

[ She sighs and shakes her head, running a hand down her face. ] Dude if you're gonna do somethin', you do it well. If you the best fuckin'...Wrecker, or whatever, then you oughta respectably be the best at anything else you choose to do. Includin' being a girl.

[oneeyedterror]

It's not like we need 'em.

[Well that and the only "female" Cybertronian is crazy and a killer. But Whirl can admire that.]

And it's cause, whatsit. My holoform, it was made to be all fragging intuitive. So it's supposed to be a reflection of my mental state or something like that. I ain't no psychologist.

Why the hell would I want to?

[fullofthorns]

Wait wait. So you're a gazillion year old robot dude, but inside you're a little girl>

Snrk.

Pfft.

HAHAHA. Oh man, that's priceless!

[ It takes a minute for the laughter to subside, hands rubbing at her face as she wheezes for a breath. ]

I-I...haha...I don't know man, maybe just for the hell of it. You gotta have a reason for everything you do?

[oneeyedterror]

Hey now, I know a guy who is six million years old and he's got a frikking baby for his.

[Sorry Tailgate, where ever you are, Whirl's tossing you under the metaphorical bus.]

No, but I don't see why I should do it if I don't honestly frikking feel like it.

[fullofthorns]

What if there were booze involved? Have some girl time, and then drink...and probably fight. not with Wiwako though.Just with me. I mean she can drink, but I wouldn't fight her.

[oneeyedterror]

That's just hanging out, Roze.

[Seriously, it's not girl time. It's being pals time.]

[fullofthorns]

Dude, hanging out and being girls ain't necessarily mutually exclusive. Seriously. Just give it a try. Girl stuff, I mean. Its actually pretty fun, sometimes. I mean look at me - I'm hot and love my body and all, but I like fighting and causin' trouble and I don't usually do girly shit.

BUT.

But, I do enjoy takin' care of myself and lookin' nice. I do my hair, I wear nice clothes and jewelry - some - and wear make-up and all. There's a lot to be said for takin' care of yourself as a girl instead of just as a responsibility.

Definitely helps with confidence, that's for sure.

[oneeyedterror]

[Pffft. Roze you're not going to sell Whirl on anything female.

In fact Jetstream finally speaks up, cause she's been listening in this whole time.]

Miss Roze, it's hard enough to get Miss Whirl to bathe let alone wear something that wasn't what she showed up. It's only very recently she's let me do her hair.

[Whirl huffs] That's cause it makes you happy that I let you do it. And my confidence is perfectly fine.

[fullofthorns]

You just don't wanna hang out, then. [ she remarks, cocking a brow imperiously. ]

I see how it is.

[oneeyedterror]

I'm going to your slagging year party. [SIGH.]

And we can hang out whenever, not like I'm doing anything important.

[fullofthorns]

I'll hold you to that. We don't hang out enough, really. Always some stupid shit happening. Can't get a fuckin' minute to BREATHE.

[ She glares at several of the papers before balling one up and throwing it across the room irritably. ]

[oneeyedterror]

Yeah yeah. You sure you don't need like, any kind of help?

[He's not the type to offer to help Roze, it's a fragging Christmas Miracle.]