Mission 1: Arrival (Video)

[hellspawnedhero]

*There's a pair of icy blue eyes on the screen, with a subtle warmth behind them that's at odds with the cold color. They belong to a young but scruffy looking face topped by white hair and bearing an expression somewhere between irritated and unimpressed. From the background, he still seems to be outside.*

Okay, first off, I've got a couple of questions, so why don't we humor the new guy for a while. Let's start off with the big stuff: where can a guy get a slice of pizza, a decent sundae and some booze around here? I just spent all day running around and it feels like I could eat a Gigapede if that wasn't the most disgusting idea I've ever heard.

Which actually brings me to the second question. I spent all day running around without food and was perfectly fine until I came here, aside from some serious cravings for cheese and tomato sauce. You see, I ain't exactly what you would call entirely normal, that's why I'm so good at what I do. So who's shit idea was it to bring me here, ask me to save the world and then add on 'by the way, you can't use any of the awesome and badass powers that usually help you get the job done'?

Actually, you know what, make that three questions. On the topic of saving the world, who's ass to I have to kick this time? Interdimensional gates don't normally screw with themselves when they're supposed to be closed, so I'm pretty sure someone's gotta be on a power trip. Though points for scale. Don't think I've ever heard of someone involving more than just the human world and the demon world in their evil schemes. ...Then again, until now, I didn't know there was anything other than the human world and the demon world. Guess they're right, you do learn something new every day.

Comments

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

Alright, now that's just cruel. Talking about food in front of a starving guy without telling him where he can get some.

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

There is a cafeteria around and there are some shops that sell food too.

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

Any of 'em serve a decent slice of pizza?

Why are you so hung up on pizza?

'Cause, kid. It's the food of heroes.

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

I've never had Pizza so I wouldn't know, but the cafeteria is free?

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

Sounds like a good place to start to me.

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

I don't think it's possible to eat them out of business, so...

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

I might just have to put that theory to the test. Doubt you've ever seen a Gigapede, but sayin' you feel like you could eat one is like saying you could eat an elephant times five.

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

( What's an elephant? )

I'll have to take your word for it I guess.

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

I hope you're planning on leaving some for me!

Hah, don't worry kid, I know how to share.

Thanks for the tip, by the way. So, does the mysterious voice have a name?

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

[ There's a long pause of silence. ]

Squall.

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

Dante. Nice ta meet ya. Well, as much as I can say that when I still don't know what you look like.

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

You're not really missing out on much.

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

We got a Mr. Modest over here, then?

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

Not really?

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

Then why insist I'm not missin' much by not knowing what you look like?

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

I'm your average brooding teenager. We all look alike.

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

*That? That gets a laugh.*

Sounds like it'd be deja-vu, then.

*And now, until he gets to see you, he's going to pretend you look like him and his identical twin when they were teenagers.*

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

[ He goes silent, but only because he's curious why Dante said that. ]

Hn...

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

What, I say somethin' funny?

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

No...Curious I guess.

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

Can't be too curious if it's not worth askin' about.

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

I don't ask unless it's important.

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

Ignorance is bliss, huh?

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

Funny the things that keep to you from training.

[Audio]

[hellspawnedhero]

There's merits to ignoring all the bullshit that flies around, I'll give ya that. But what kinda training are you talking about?