Mission 3: Ghosts of the Past

[hellspawnedhero]

*When the video opens, it shows Dante lying face down in bed, looking uncharacteristically tired. What can be seen of him is completely bare, though anything objectionable is fortunately either off screen or obscured by his position.*

Hey, any of you guys got advice for dealing with an upset sto-

*And that's when the deliberate post cuts off, overshadowed by a strange scene from nowhere in the known digital world.

Elsewhere, various TVs are showing another scene at seemingly random times.*

Comments

[hellspawnedhero]

...That's got a lot of backstory, babe. The guy was part of a dumbass religious order that was worshippin' my old man. Humans treating a demon like a god, pretty damn stupid, huh? But him and a few other dumbasses had gone off the deep end and turned 'emselves into artificial half demons and gotten their hands on my brother's sword to boot. I happened to disapprove of a family heirloom sitting in the hands of a bunch of nutbars.

[badluckbabe]

...I've heard stranger.

Alright so I'm guessing in the end there wasn't enough of them left to drive in the carpool lane?

[hellspawnedhero]

The only guy with demonic power I left standin' was the one who got it the all natural way.

[badluckbabe]

Fair enough.

So what about your brother. Why do you two fight?

[hellspawnedhero]

*And again he looks away from the camera.*

We had...different ideas about some really important stuff. We're twins, so we've got the exact same half demon heritage, but he'd decided he didn't wanna be human. He'd also gotten it into his head that the only important thing is power and didn't give a crap who he hurt while trying to get it.

That place you saw us fighting on? That was a tunnel to hell he was working on openin' up.

[badluckbabe]

Does it ever occur to you how strange your life sounds?

[hellspawnedhero]

Babe...I'm the half demon son of a guy right outta the supernatural history books who hunts demons for a living and had something pretty damn close to a genuine evil twin. Strange doesn't cover the half of it.

[badluckbabe]

And now because of seemingly random circumstances you're completely human living in a world of monsters made of data.

[hellspawnedhero]

And the only surprise there is that I'm dealin' with tech instead of straight up magic.

[badluckbabe]

Well thanks for the warning about this new glitch. I'm going to brace myself for the inevitable mortifying embarrassment that comes with.

...OH! Before I go though. What was that pendant that he took from you?

[hellspawnedhero]

A memento from our mother. You get both of 'em and you can unlock the gate to the underworld.

I forget, is he wearing that pendant currently?

[badluckbabe]

...and your mother thought this was a good idea why?

He's wearing it combined with Vergil's half.

[hellspawnedhero]

Wasn't her idea. According to the legends, it was a gift from demons to humans. I'm guessin' she split it to make sure nobody could actually use it.

Thank you~

[badluckbabe]

And I notice you have both pieces now.

[hellspawnedhero]

Yeah...shit happened.

[badluckbabe]

That's rough.

[Because really, what else can you say to this sort of thing?]

[hellspawnedhero]

Ain't it always...

*Better than asking for details.*

[badluckbabe]

Maybe take the day off from...whatever it is you do huh?

[hellspawnedhero]

An' here's me without a decent magazine to keep me from gettin' bored...

[badluckbabe]

[eyeroll]

Oh yes, I wonder what you could do all day when peoples most personal memories are being broadcast on TV and the network. However will you entertain yourself?

[hellspawnedhero]

I ain't actually the pryin' type. That just invites people to pry back, and I've got a lotta shit I don't wanna be dancing around talking about all the time.

[badluckbabe]

Yeah yeah, that's noble and all but it isn't exactly fair.

Besides, sooner or later these memories have to get fun, like you chewing the scenery.

[hellspawnedhero]

A mix of crap, melodrama and the most awesome shit in the universe. Ain't really seein' much difference from regular daytime TV 'cept for the fact that it's about people we know.

[badluckbabe]

Of course. That's what makes it fun.

And we're almost guaranteed no reruns.

[hellspawnedhero]

...Got a good point there. Skim the shit everyone wants to pretend didn't happen, make popcorn for the parts with real style.