巴マミ ✿ Tomoe Mami (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
candeloro) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
themainframe2013-08-27 12:36 am
candeloro) wrote in themainframe2013-08-27 12:36 am
02❀ [video]
[Mami doesn't have many happy memories, not anymore. The great majority of them are in the past, a time that seems like it was forever ago. Although she puts on a smile and acts cheerful and welcoming, it's really all just a lie.
There's some bright spots, of course, like when Kyouko asked to be her apprentice, and the times worked together as fellow magical girls, but those are few and between, and that partnership was soon broken off.
Later on, though, it seems that Mami is working with another girl, a magical girl in blue who fights with a sword. Their partnership works well enough at first, just like Mami's partnership with the girl in red. However, at one point, the girl in blue becomes distracted during a battle, and Mami becomes seriously injured by the creature- a 'witch'- that they've been fighting. Although the girl in blue ends up healing her, things only go downhill from there. The girl ('Miki-san', Mami calls her, 'Sayaka-chan', a girl with pink hair, 'Madoka', calls her) decides to break off the partnership, just as 'Sakura-san' before her. Although Mami tries to reconcile with Sayaka, and even goes to save her from a witch, it doesn't work. Sayaka turns into a witch right in front of her.
As it turns out, the truth about magical girls is that the source of their power, their Soul Gem, will eventually corrupt and 'hatch' into a Grief Seed, the very things that drop from the witches they fight. In short, the ultimate fate of a magical girl is to become a witch, or die fighting. This does not settle well with Mami.
The scene shifts again. Mami sits in her apartment, talking with Madoka, the pink haired girl from earlier. Madoka tells Mami she's decided to become a magical girl so that Mami can live a normal life, and Mami breaks down, finally confessing she doesn't want to fight anymore, doesn't want to kill witches anymore. Madoka assures her everything will be alright, and, perhaps under different circumstances, things might have been. The final scene is of Mami lying on the couch in her apartment, holding what looks to be Kyouko's hair ribbon, her Soul Gem destroyed.
The memories end after that, and Mami, in the present day, seems to struggle with finding the words to say, horrified, before she hurriedly cuts off the feed.]
[action]
[There was a lot Waver didn't understand about all of that, but he got the general idea, and the general idea was enough. More importantly than the finer details and explanations was the fact that Mami was sure to be upset, and so hesitantly he got up and knocked lightly on her door.]
Mami? Are you okay?
[action]
Miss Mami? Someone's at the door...
[action]
[action]
There's no hiding it, even if she tries- Mami is upset and shaken by what she saw.]
... I tried hard to be the ideal magical girl and teacher, one who could protect everyone. I told myself it was for the sake of justice, but in the end, I was just fighting for my own sake. I've... always been such a selfish person, even to the end.
[action]
[action]
The wish I made that day, when I made my contract with Kyubey... even that was a selfish wish. Why did I only think to save myself? All those girls who made their wish for someone else's sake... why didn't they get to 'live on' like I did?
[action]
[Waver cut himself off, struggling to find the right words. He'd never particularly minded being alone himself; things were easier that way. Being alone meant there was no one to make snide comments about his bloodline or skill. Maybe there had been some sense of loneliness, but not to the extent that he could properly understand what Mami felt.]
...Do you want to get some fresh air? I'm sure we can find somewhere to talk about this over a decent cup of tea in one of these blasted marketplaces.
[When in doubt, opt for the British solution. Waver would have preferred to stay there and make tea for them both, but unfortunately that didn't seem like an option.]
[action]
[action]
[Waver laughed a little awkwardly, gesturing in the direction of the door.]
Hopefully they have some kind of standards when it comes to tea around here.
[action]
[action]
[Maybe he should have said something to try and put her at ease, but the student really wasn't great at conversation to begin with. Waver just sincerely hoped the right thing to say would present itself when he needed it to.]
[action]
... The accident was nearly three years ago; I had just started middle school. If it hadn't been for Kyuubey, I would have perished along with my parents... at the time, I could only think about how I didn't want to die, so I called out for someone, anyone to save me.
... He said he could grant me my wish in exchange for a contract.
[action]
And that's how you got those abilities, right?
[action]
... I thought the ideal course of action was to defeat both witches and familiars alike, before they could cause any harm, but I was always the only one who shared that view. Many times I would try to form an alliance with any fellow magical girl I came across, but they all rejected my views, feeling it was only acceptable to allow the familiars to cause a few deaths, to allow them to mature into witches. To them, fighting them otherwise was a waste of time and magical energy.
[action]
[Waver paused, remembering he was trying to keep his mouth shut until Mami was done.]
S-sorry--go ahead, I'm still listening.
[action]
I met Sakura-san about a year ago- she was a magical girl from a neighboring town, who used enchantment magic, who had been having trouble with a witch that also used enchantment magic. From what she told me, the witch had gotten away from her and made its way over to Mitakihara. I helped her out, and afterwards invited her over for tea, at which point she asked if she could be my apprentrice.
I... was a little uncertain about being a senpai at first, but I had always wanted to have another magical girl as a friend.
[action]
But--you don't have to tell me if you'd rather not--I'm not sure I get where it went wrong. Did you two have a fight over something?
[action]
I found Sakura-san a little later on... she had been badly injured by a witch. I healed her and brought her back to my apartment to recover... but things changed after that.
[She pauses, looking out to the distance as she remembers.]
She stopped using her enchantment magic- she said she could defeat witches without using it. We had just fought a familiar, and Sakura-san had become injured; that's when it happened.
[There's another pause, longer than the first, and Mami looks down at the ground.]
"It's impossible to save everyone. Whether they're possessed by a witch or not, people who want to die, will die."
[action]
...I'm sorry.
[action]
I'm sure you can see now the first time I failed as a senpai. [And as for the second?] After that, I was alone for another year before I met Miki-san and Kaname-san.
[action]
[action]
[Sorry Waver, but this is the same person who blamed herself for some kid getting stuck in a witch's barrier in an earlier, alternate timeline, and the same person who thought that if they were all going to eventually turn into witches like Sayaka did, that the best option was for them all to die in yet another earlier timeline.]
Don't you see? If I had only gone to look for Sakura-san earlier... if I had thought to maybe think more as to why she hadn't joined me for witch hunting for the past few months-!
I failed both Sakura-san and Miki-san. It's as Kyubey said- I'm to blame for Miki-san becoming a witch. And... it's my fault both Sakura-san and Miki-san are gone.
[action]
I know it's easy to just fall into a pit of 'what if' and 'if I had done this differently' People make mistakes every day, and it's natural to think maybe it would have been better if someone took action X rather than Y. But...wondering possibilities and all that, it doesn't help.
Things are what they are--maybe you made a mistake, maybe you didn't. For what little it's worth, I don't think you did anything wrong. And if you did, then...if they ever show up here, just apologize. You didn't mean to hurt anyone--don't friends usually understand that kind of thing?
[action] wow i really need to spring for a premium for mami too
- Waver-san?
[She stops when Waver does, taken aback by his words. Salamon also watches as Mami listens to him, shocked.]
Do you honestly think that? Do you really believe I can be forgiven?
[She hopes so, knows Kyouko said that she saw Mami as an older sister, but that was the last they spoke before Kyouko left to fight Sayaka's witch form.]
Before I destroyed my own Soul Gem, I left a note. ...I wonder if Kaname-san found it.
[action] alas i know this feeling well
[action]
[action]
[action]
[And it seems in the time they've been speaking, they've arrived at their destination.]
[action]
She's later than Waver. She knocks at the door, but it's soft, like pawing. A few minutes of silence leads her to open it, to find no one there. What to do then? Leave?
Tentatively, she walks into the dark room. She finds though she's without so many things that make her a cat, seeing in the dark she's still good at. She sits like a feline at the foot of Mami's bed. And she waits.
Depending on how long it takes, she might curl up; her ears twitch and her tail wraps around her body. Depending on how long it takes, she might fall asleep.]
[action]
When Mami returns to their apartment, she's surprised to see Hollyleaf, in her room, curled up atat the foot of her bed, almost like... A cat? But of course; the ears, the tail... she supposed that made sense, but- wait, was she asleep?
Mami is uncertain how to approach this situation.]
Ah... Hollyleaf?
[action]
Mm? [Seems she realizes where she is now. She straightens.] Oh! Mami, I'm sorry. I meant to come in and...see if you were here, and I decided to wait.
[action]
[action]
[Hollyleaf shakes her head.] If I was long, I don't really remember. It's like I only just nodded off.
...But that doesn't matter. Are you okay?
[action]
[She's not sure how to answer that. Is she okay? Not really. Tea with Waver was a distraction, and it helped, but the mistakes she's made have still happened. But how does she explain this to Hollyleaf?]
... It's a little ironic. Back then, during the car accident that took the lives of my parents, all I could think of was how I didn't want to die as well. And yet, in the end, I couldn't keep on living, like I wished to. To spend forevermore fighting, or to become the very thing I fought- I just couldn't keep doing that anymore.
[action]
You've lived a very hard life. Not being able to... I can understand it.
[action]
It was a rather lonely life. Being a magical girl meant I had little time for normal activities, and I didn't have anyone I could talk to when I felt particularly down or frustrated. I wanted friends, but I couldn't talk about what I did with the girls at school- they would never understand. I would try partnering up with others like myself, but they would always reject my views.
[action]
[action]
... Because witches drop a very valuable item that is necessary to restoring our magical energy. However, it has limited uses, and is found in limited quantities- a witch only drops one.
[...]
Witches are the sources of all the unexplained suicides and murders in my world. Before that, though, they sometimes start out as familiars, which drop nothing, but if left alone, will eventually mature into a witch.
The others... believed a few lives lost in the process of waiting was acceptable.
[action]
That's...that's horrible.
[Why do the people she meets here keep coming from horrible places...?]
[action] I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG
[action] DON'T WORRY DARLING
[action]
That would be ideal, wouldn't it? Perhaps... if I could be reborn, it would be into a world without witches.
[action]
It looks as if...this world is a bit of that chance.
[action]
[action]