themainframe | [Video] Memory Leak

Entry tags:

[Video] Memory Leak

[ Roze laughs, rolling onto her back and hanging her head off the foot of her bed, holding the D-T up as she talks to Miwako, bare feet propped on Kotemon who is sleeping across her bed, snoring softly. ]

Oh my god, Shortcake, he's so friggin' ripped. I'm not even kidding. Hnn. And he's totally packing. I mean weapons of mass destruction. This guy belongs in a centerfold. Oh, man. I can't wait to fight him. I really, really can't wait. Its a shame he's sick and all but picking on him has been fun. You know how men turn into total babies when they get sick? Yeah he's not much different. But at least he listens pretty well. He should be better today or tomorrow. I was gonna challenge him, ut there's this mission thing coming up and I wanna make some money, plus I kinda hope he comes at me first. I don't like passive guys and I'm gonna be real disappointed when he turns out to be some limp-wristed--

[ The screen cuts Roze's conversation off and fills terminals all across the city, the private D-T chat turning into an open broadcast, picture changing to a livingroom in disarray with broken picture frames, a toppled three-shelf bookstand, a shattered tea cup. Roze stands tall and defiant in the middle of the room staring down another equally Amazonian woman. While Roze is dressed in current fashion with tight jeans, a black tank-top and a loose tee over it, the other woman is clothed in a more traditionally inspired outfit - not quite a kimono, not quite a top and hakama, just something inbetween. A boy only Roze's age or younger stands nearby, dark eyes darting nervously between the two women. Roze, Roze's mom, and Roze's dad. ]

This is BULLSHIT! [ Roze shouts, her voice hoarse, likely having already been screaming for some time. ]

Don't talk to your mother like that!

You shut up. You shut right the fuck up. You don't get to tell me what to do. You don't get to speak to me. Don't even look at me.

That's your father you're talking to!

Oh piss off, mom! I can't believe you went along with this! I can't believe you fuckin' lied to me this whole time!

What were we supposed to tell you, Roze? How were we supposed to tell you? You were children together! You grew up together!

It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter how difficult it was for you or whether or not I would have understood! You should have told me instead of lying about it! Or you shouldn't have come back at all!

ROZE!

No. No Sakura, she's right. I shouldn't have kept it from her. At least not for as long as we did. She had a right to know--

You're damned right I did! You son of a bitch, you've just sat there manipulating my whole life! You've moved everything around like pieces on a goddamned board game, you bastard!

Roze, you have to believe me, it was for your own good! We thought we were doing what was best for you!

The hell you were! You were doing what was best for you! Crowbarring me into this fuckin' position I never wanted to be in in the first place!

[ Roze screamed, hands going to the sides of her head in frustration before she whirled around and kicked the living room table. The wood splintered, a dark crack racing across the lacquered surface. More importantly the skin on Roze's bare foot was split and bleeding, the trickle pooling crimson on the hardwood floor. She stared down at the cut, shoulders rising and falling with great breaths of barely contained rage. Silence stretched between the three for a long time, her father shifting his weight uncomfortably, her mother scowling angrily. Eventually she uttered a bitter laugh that was barely more than a cough. ]

So what. So I don't even get a choice?

[ Her mother laughed nastily in reply, propping a fist on her hip. ]

Don't act like you didn't know. You're being disgustingly childish, petty and selfish right now. You've known your whole life that this is what you were training for. What was expected of you. What makes you think you're any better or more important than your father or I? Hm? You ungrateful little bi--

SAKURA!

[ Roze's mother stiffens and turns, eyes wide with surprise as she looks at the boy who suddenly shouted, voice pained and authoritative. ]

She's right! This isn't fair. It never was. Your family always pressed for the children to follow their footsteps, but they should be allowed to choose, Sakura. And...how dare you...

What?

How dare you. How dare you ever insinuate that your daughter - our daughter - isn't more important than you, or I or the whole damned world?

She's jus--

Just nothing! You have a child, that child always comes before you! Before you or anyone else or any damned tradition!

That tradition is everything! Its what stands between the survival of humanity and the brink of war!

Should our children be responsible for it? Should our children have to suffer for what everyone else should be held accountable for? We're dooming her to a thankless life!

You're only saying any of this because you've spent so much time as a human child now. You've had the luxury of living with a family that doesn't know, that's completely ignorant of the real threat.

I'm saying this because its true.

Shut up. Just shut up, both of you. Don't pretend to suddenly care. You don't get to have a sudden change of heart. You've had seventeen fuckin' years to come clean about this, to change it and make it better.

[ Roze curses, lifting her foot to check the damage. Bruising. Broken toe, probably. Shaking her head, she flicks her hair to the side and glares hatefully at her parents. ]

You can't force me to do this. You don't get to tell me I have to do this.

Roze, think about what you're saying. You've got to listen--

NO! No I won't listen! You die and come back, spend my whole life following me around and pretending to be my friend instead of my father, you chase off everyone that ever wanted to get close to me, you purposely isolated me! And you two want me to listen? To see it from your perspective? SEE IT FROM MY FUCKING PERSPECTIVE! I want to live my life! I want to know people! I want to have friends!

You can have friends, Roz--

NO I CAN'T! I'm a freak in case you haven't noticed! I'm too human to be a demon, I'm too demon to be a human! My imaginary friends are real and every human kid I ever got close to either grew up and bullied me or tried to be more and got chased off my your fuckin' sleazy ass tricks! You stupid mother-fucker, you pretended! All this time you acted like we were so close and kept me thinking I would be better off with a guy like you than any of the others who "couldn't really understand me" and this whole fuckin' time you were my FATHER! You people are fuckin' mental! You're out of your minds if you think I would ever listen to another fuckin' word out of your fuckin' mouths!

[ She wheels around, padding across the floor and leaving wet red prints as she grabs her katana, her coat and heads for her shoes. ]

Where do you think you're going?

Anywhere but here.

I don't think so. We're not through here.

Oh, yes we are. We are so done here.

Sakura, let her go.

Another six months and none of this matters anyways. You'll come to your senses and you'll be back.

You know what...

[ Roze stops at the door, licking her lips and laughing softly as she zips up her boots and looks over shoulder. ]

You better hope I don't. You best hope that I don't come home, that I don't become a Guardian, because you know what? I'm better than both of you. You're older and slower, and you're diminished and weaker. And I hate your precious humans.

Roze...

I hate them. I hate them so much it makes me sick. All those years you told me to just let them push me around, just let them shove me down and kick me. You yelled at me for defending myself or fighting back. All those years you made me behave like a cringing dog around these fucking ingrates, and now you tell me I'm supposed to protect them? I'm supposed to take care of them? You're out of your fuckin' minds. I will never stand up for people who disrespected and shit on me my whole life. I will never accept that I have to lead a life of lies and secrets just because of some bullshit traditions. If I come back, it won't be for them. It won't be for humanity. It'll be for the demons and everyone else.

[ She shoulders her weapon, pulling open the door and casting one more look full of loathing over her shoulder, adding a parting shot before slamming the door closed behind her. ]

Who stands up for the demons' rights?

=====================

[ The screen flickers briefly, the image of Roze's parents looking helplessly at each other before breaking out into an argument being replaced with Roze's staring face, white as a sheet. Lips puckered in an "o" and greens eyes wide, she looks left, right, then down before clearing her throat. ]

Ah...well...that...was...uh....*sniff*...That was...

Awkward?

[ She looks to her side where Kotemon sat, woken up by all the shouting on the terminal. ]

Oh God...

[ She groans, dropping her face into her bedding and screaming into the mattress. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What's the point in having money if you don't spend it? [ She asks, arching a brow and sticking her tongue out. ]

Really. And then, why spend it on yourself if a little bit of money makes someone else smile?

You don't understand the concept of savin' for a rainy day, do ya?

Every day is a rainy day for someone else.

[ Headtilt. ]

That's all well and good, but eventually you're gonna run outta steam. What're you gonna do when you can't cheer anyone up because you ran out of energy?

That's easy. I'll take comfort in all the lives I've had the privilege of being a part of.

I'll remind myself of why I do it, and keep on going until there's nothing left of me.

[ She shifts and picks up the D-T, leaning until she falls back against her pillow, holding the terminal to look up at Seifer. ]

I feel better giving something to someone else than I do getting it for myself. So, in the end, I am kinda buying my own happiness.

Okay, okay. I get it. Stop. You're makin' me sick with all that goody two-shoes talk. I can't believe people like you actually exist.

[ Shifty eyes. ]

They don't; I have yet to actually achieve this goal. My temper tends to get the better of me.

But I do want to be a good person.

More often than not I end up tasting my own boot or making someone cry. And then I feel like shit.

Unless I made them cry on purpose...which is obviously kind of shitty of me on its own.

Edited 2013-08-31 12:20 (UTC)

[ His expression is rather unimpressed. Not to worry, this expression is only slightly more severe than his usual expression. ]

Yeah, but if you're makin' people cry on purpose they probably deserved it. Assuming your judgment is decent.

[ She wrinkles her nose and shrugs, rolling to the side and resting looking at the D-T resting on the pillow with her. ]

Well I certainly thought so at the time. Chances are pretty good only half of them deserved it and only half as much as I believed. Realistically, people are shitty when they're mad. I'm no exception to that.

But I try to make up for it. Maybe not always to the people I ran off...

I should probably reevaluate my priorities on that front.

At least you don't go around blaming your childhood or your parents for how you turned out like some people do. It's good that you accept responsibility for your actions; not many people do these days.

[ He's surprised he can actually admire something about her. ]

But I still think that they should've known better anyway. Saying stupid things when you're mad isn't some new scintillating revelation. They should have had some common sense and made an effort not to piss you off.

Its not always that hard to do. I really, really fuckin' hate when people treat other people like shit who can't stand up for themselves. I also really, really hate people that don't stand for anything, themselves included. Especially girls that always do the whole weeping-sobbing why you sooo meeeean schtick and always expect guys to come and save them from...whatever.

Nothing pisses me off faster than chicks that act like guys can solve all their problems, or chicks that honestly believe men should fix all their problems.

I mean, do some shit for yourself.

I cannot tell you how many fights I've started by grabbing a fistful of fake-ass hair and dragging a hag outside for a proper lesson in what a chick oughta be able to do.

And those fights I don't regret.

[ Seifer can't help but bite back a laugh. ]

Yeah? Sounds like you'd fit right in back in my world. Gardens are full of men and women of roughly equal strength and definitely equal value. They teach us "teamwork," to help each other by offering our aid when it's needed. Standing up for yourself and for others, having good values and all that. At the same time, I know plenty of guys who'd get their asses kicked by half the women in the school if the need ever arose. Then again, Gardens are military organizations so I doubt it's the same as a regular school environment.

My point is that in my world, I haven't really come across too many "damsels in distress." Even the ones that might qualify will rip the hell out of you with their teeth and nails... and kicks.

Shoot, sounds like I'd do a hell of a lot better back in your place. Take me with you? [ Sultry pouts for all! ]

Back home where I'm from, there's like...the whole rest of the world, full of idiots, and then there's this world almost no one else can see, that I see every day.

I learned a lot of things from that other world and the people in it and I know I sure as shit don't want to be like the blind and ignorant masses of the main world. But it puts me in a really bad position and I tend to be views pretty poorly, sometimes on both sides. sometimes I just feel like a square peg and everyone is trying to shove me into a round hole.

If that's how opening the gates would work, sure, come with me.

[ To him, she almost sounds crazy. But she sounds so sure about that he supposes there's a chance she isn't mental. Besides, he's seen and heard about crazier things. ]

I ain't one to suggest runnin' away from your problems, but there comes a point where you should just say screw it and move on.

I have no idea if I can just go along...if I could you can sure as hell bet I'd go with someone else, if only just to visit.

But you're probably right either way. I is running from my problems. I just don't think that the problems I have are easily resolved, if ever honestly escaped.

[ She shifts on her pillow, looking over her shoulder to check on a sleeping Kotemon and Miwako, who had come to spend the night; she makes sure everything is fine before laying down half curled around the D-T. ]

I'm afraid if I go home...they're eventually going to kill me. [ She whispers that, not wanting anyone to overhear. ]

Who's "they?" Depending on your answer, I'm guessing "not if you kill them first" is an unacceptable answer.

The other guardians. Even my mother and father. I don't think they'd be given the order, let alone particularly want to fulfill them, but I know I'm not going to blindly follow orders and execute people I don't think deserve it. And disobeying any order is generally punishable by exile, imprisonment or death. And exile isn't just 'get the hell out of here', its 'we banish you to a terrible place for X amount of years'.

Maybe you oughta just stay here, then. Y'know, until someone else opens up the gates. Then maybe you can hitchhike to some other world.

You think it actually works like that? I mean, I've read this thing over and over again and near as I can see, we're all pretty much data. We're not exactly, technically, real. We're like...characters in a book. You've probably never seen The Neverending Story. I'm just not so sure we can exist anywhere outside of our own worlds. Otherwise I'd totally hitch a ride.

Then again I suppose if I never went back, there'd be nobody to stand up for the others against the guardians. Kind of a tough draw not matter how you look at it.

If you really want to leave and there's no place for you in other worlds, make a place. Sometimes, a strong will's all you need. And if you choose to stay... guess you better spend your time here training. Data or not, might as well spend your time wisely so you can knock down oppressors with your bare fists.

I like that optimism, Princess. I really do. [ She chuckles, scratching the side of her nose and glancing sidelong with a mild color to her cheeks. ]

Its something to think about, either way, while I have the luxury of doing so. Back home I've only got a month and a half before I don't really have a choice anymore. Who knows how long I have to be here and think it all over?

Months. Years.

Honestly just the last few days have done wonders for me. I haven't...really been able to be this social - or civil, and trust me, I have been super civil - in like, ever. Its always fighting and yelling and grousing, with no time in the middle to make solid friends with anyone because I'm always so fuckin' angry, y'know? I really, really want to, but what's the point when everyone hates you or is scared of you?

[ "Optimism." More like common sense, he thinks. ]

Oh, so this is you being civil?

[ Terrifying. ]

Look, just think of it as a second chance. Go take sociability classes with Squall and if things don't work out, take what you learned back home. If you really, really want somethin', you can't just give up.

Truer words were never spoken. I never really intended to give up but...I think I was getting tired of fighting. Maybe, I guess I figured there was nothing else, you know? There's just humans and demons, and no one can go anywhere or do anything, so you have to pick a side and be done with it. And me not choosing human is pretty much a death wish.

Knowing there's other things out there. Other ways of life...Its heartening. Even if you can't actually get to those places, knowing that somewhere, things are right in another world while they're messed up in yours...makes me feel better anyways.

...Sounds like you've got it rough, kid. Guess if you didn't have that way of thinking you'd be dead in a ditch somewhere or somethin'.

And you don't feel an ounce of jealousy?

What, of other people? Well...I think its more envy. I wish the world were different, but I know that radical changes would result in war, a lot of death, and more unhappiness than anything else.

I'd rather die fighting for what I believe in and protecting the people that need it. Well...I'd really rather live, but if I have to die, it better be for a damned good reason with no regrets. I'm not stupid enough to just try and open gates to other worlds and deal with spillover. And much as I don't get humans sometimes, or really like them on the whole...a lot of them would die if I did something stupid.

I like kids. I like a lot of little old ladies and men. I even like some people my age and all. There's probably lots of people in the world I could like and I'd be responsible if anything happened to them.

Jealousy just leads to stupid decisions. Its okay to wish for better things, but its not okay to go after your dreams if its going to hurt people that never did you any wrong. It spoils those dreams...makes them unworthy of the better you.

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

Re: [Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]

[Video]

Re: [Video]