themainframe | 008 // [Video]

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008 // [Video]

[It's that time again! Wheeljack's here to clear up any and all confusion you people might have about this place. And maybe some tips for those who might be slightly not-human. Don't worry, though! His advice is accurate.

For the most part.

The feed opens up to show him on the couch of his apartment, pretty much just lounging out.]

So, we got an influx of newbies during that blackout, huh. Guess that means it'll be question time again unless someone clears up a few things. And you know me, I like to please people.

[Or annoy the crap out of them. Either way.]

Place is called the Digital World. And no, ya can't leave. Seriously, don't even try.

[There's a little pink ball of fluff curled on his stomach, poking a head up.]

Wow, you're getting right down to it, aren't you.

[With a little smirk, he pushes her head back down, back to sleep or whatever she was doing. Those eyes, however, go back to the ceiling in thought.]

Oh yeah, you're not human here. Yeah, I know. It's fraggin' impossible to do anything. But as long as ya follow the three rules, you'll make it. One. Clothes are your armor. It's pretty bad at bein' armor, but it's all ya got, so get used to it. Two, ya gotta refuel all day every day. Don't worry, their food's pretty good, and they got alcohol--pretty much defined as drink of choice. And three, breathin'. Probably should have covered breathin' first...but you've got to do it. It comes pretty naturally though, so I wouldn't worry unless you're turnin' blue in the face and too stupid to take a cue. [Misfire.]

Oh, and stop livin' on phone booths. You know who you are.

[He takes this moment to look at the crest he attached to his dog tags, inspecting it.]

You're probably going to get maimed here. Hate to say it, but pretty low chance of it -not- happenin. Things attack the city, so until we got some kind of boy scout troops or build a wall, you're gonna have to defend yourself with your little annoyance that follows you around.

I heard that!

Good. [Back to the camera] But, treat your weapon [he gestures to the Gazimon on his stomach] well, get better weapon. Good advice.

[He takes another look at the crest before looking down at You again.]

By the way, we're movin' out.

[And just like that, her head perks up.]

We are??

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Don't give him that stare, Arcee.]

C'mon, you have to treat it nice.

[Fine, have this one instead.]

Treating them nice helps a lot, yeah, but are you really telling me you think everyone here who managed to get theirs to change is nice? If nice was the rule, we wouldn't have vermin like Airachnid crawling around in the first place.

I think we're ALL ignoring that he just called us an "it".

Edited 2013-09-20 17:54 (UTC)

[He just wants Arcee stare-of-approval!

..And then that brain gets to work.]

So...does it matter what I said, then?

Don't worry baby, you're still a man to me.

[Arcee continues to stare until the feed, trying to think of the best possible way to respond to that.

Instead, she comes up with nothing and just tosses the Terminal.]

Ugh!

[Thankfully, Sprocket catches it before it lands on the floor. His voice is soft and whispered so she doesn't hear him.]

Just ignore her. I think she's stressed.

[The sudden toss of the D-Terminal catches both their attention, You's head springing up like a cat and Wheeljack almost sitting bolt upright. The Gazimon shoots Wheeljack a glare before responding.]

Does she need a girl talk...?

Arcee!

Girl talk. Not you.

No, I think she needs apple slices.

[He's...learned to leave her alone when she gets like that.]

So where are you guys moving to? I think you should move right next door to me! Then we can borrow each others ingredients whenever we want to!

[Good strategy, Sprocket.]

Uh..wherever Crest of Sheep takes me. I heard there's separate housing.

Did you seriously just say that?

...

[He blinks.]

There's no such thing as the Crest of Sheep!

That's what we're calling it.

[No way is he saying 'crest of friendship']

You can't do that! I know I joke around a lot, but Crests are a big deal! You need to respect them!

[Seriously, what is wrong with all of you?]

[Have you seen him with Magnus? It's kind of his schtick.]

He's got the Crest of Friendship... C'mon Wheeljack, see? It's not that hard! I mean, I didn't explode when I said it!

...

Fine.

[He snickers.]

[And almost immediately, he's up and ready to shove a tapir in a closet]

No no! That's not very friendship!

[You's practically clinging to his shirt now, trying not to giggle.]

[He's laughing pretty hard now. Yeah, he'd like to see you try and shove him the closet, Wheeljack. Heck, throw You in there, too.]

I'm sorry! Haha--sorry! Just snk not what I was expecting!

[Oh, he's pretty much getting ready to go over there.]

I know right! I thought it'd be like...some new one. Like Crest of Jerk.

Or Crest of Poor Hygiene!

[Remember kids: Respect the Crests. Unless you're making jokes about Wheeljack, apparently.]

[He's grabbing the D-Terminal, heading for the door now. You, however, snatches it from him, looking down into it as he watches him walk.]

I guess...he's stopping by.

Crest of Bad Timing!

[Sprocket doesn't seem all that concerned. In fact, he rolls his eyes.]

Crest of Locked Doors.

[And he freezes once he gets there, hearing the 'locked doors', part.

Then, a small, soft knock on the door.]

...

Crest of Knocking Politely.

[PFFT, your polite knocks are no match for the mighty power of tapir.]

Crest of GO AWAY!

[Yes, he shouts. After all, he wants to make sure Wheeljack hears him.]

Crest of If-you-don't-open-this-door-I-swear-to-Primus-

Wheeljack, that's way too specific.

[Gosh, you just don't understand how this stuff works.]

What are you gonna do? Break it? Yeah, I bet Arcee is REEEEAAAALLY gonna like that. Go on. Break the door.

[You can almost hear the delight in his voice. He's having a good time with this. Just how many buttons can he push?]

Crest of I'm Waiting.

What, ya think I'm stupid?

[Don't answer that. But still, he's not that thickheaded to burst through Arcee's door. If it was just Sprocket's room, that'd be different.]

Crest of He's Waiting.

Yeah, well so are we.

You're gonna be waiting for a really really long time. ...Want me to sing you a song while you wait?!

[And without waiting for an answer, he starts making annoying screeching noises.]

[He wants to wring your little throat right now, Sprocket. But you can almost feel that rage through the door.]

M-Music to my ears!

[You's trying to keep her laughter in, but it's failing miserably.]

SPROCKET.