Mission 3: Ghosts of the Past

[hellspawnedhero]

*When the video opens, it shows Dante lying face down in bed, looking uncharacteristically tired. What can be seen of him is completely bare, though anything objectionable is fortunately either off screen or obscured by his position.*

Hey, any of you guys got advice for dealing with an upset sto-

*And that's when the deliberate post cuts off, overshadowed by a strange scene from nowhere in the known digital world.

Elsewhere, various TVs are showing another scene at seemingly random times.*

Comments

[hellspawnedhero]

Real cute. Apparently I just ain't been eating right, since humans need more shit than half demons.

[heartdive]

What have you been eating...

[hellspawnedhero]

Pizza, strawberries and tomato juice.

[heartdive]

No wonder you're sick. You definitely can't live off of that.

[hellspawnedhero]

I could when my body was workin' like it's supposed to.

[heartdive]

And I could cast magic and glide. That doesn't mean I don't know better here than to keep on trying what I was doing before.

[hellspawnedhero]

How the hel-heck am I supposed to know how to take care of a human body? Babysitting ain't usually part of my job description.

[heartdive]

Don't you have plenty of human friends?

[hellspawnedhero]

Not that stick around all the time. Got two I'd really consider close and both of 'em kinda come and go.

It ain't really safe to be around me a lot unless you can fight against demons.

[heartdive]

Aaaand you don't know what they eat...

[hellspawnedhero]

I know what they can eat, but I ain't exactly around 'em for meals enough to know everything they gotta eat.

[heartdive]

Wow rude.

[hellspawnedhero]

Just tryin' to keep 'em alive.

I used to try livin' like I was just another guy, kid. Didn't end well.

[heartdive]

No one said you had to go that far. But not hanging around friends?

That's not good either.

[hellspawnedhero]

One of 'em is busy and the other spends a lotta time with her mom. And trust me, you don't wanna be the one to slow Lady down when she's in a hurry.

[heartdive]

Why's that?

[hellspawnedhero]

She packs three guns and a bazooka and ain't hard to piss off.

[heartdive]

Something tells me that you just have the ability to tick anyone off.

[hellspawnedhero]

Doesn't mean she ain't still got a temper.

[heartdive]

I know lots of people with bad tempers. Don't have any holes in me yet.

[hellspawnedhero]

*We interrupt your conversation to bring you this relevant announcement.*

1/2

[heartdive]

[ this face for a whole two minutes...... ]

[heartdive]

...Okay. You deserved that.

[hellspawnedhero]

Huh?

*Just a sec, checking the recording and...facepalm.*

Only argument I got for that is that she didn't know that wasn't gonna kill me.

[heartdive]

You still sort of deserve it. I mean if that's how you've met her for the first time, then that doesn't give a great impression.