1 ✫ [video]

[pitchick]

[Video turns on, but it’s a Digimon with the D-Terminal. Namely, Fanbeemon, and he’s in distress.]

So I need a favor. Can someone please get her attention already? She's been at that toy of hers nonstop for over an hour now. [His stomach growls very loudly, hence his cry for help.]

[And what crime against his hunger is she committing? She is laying on the ground, her rifle prepped up with the scope removed. Several tools along with miscellaneous pieces were layed out carefully on a dust blanket next to her. don’t worry she removed the bullets she has rubber ones loaded instead]

[She pulls back on the trigger a few times, getting nothing more that disappointed clicks.]

The connections are there, but still not getting any power. So the source is the problem...

[True, they've been there for awhile now as Yoko took the gun apart and inspected every piece. But it's not like she was doing it blindly.]

Yoko you said we could get something to eat… [He groans pathetically. Rightfully, Yoko ignores the drama queen's whining. Reattaching the leftovers, Yoko went on to look down the scope.]

The scope still works. Good, at least that I can use. [Pushing herself up with a bit of a grunt, Yoko sits herself upright cross-legged. She reached for a screwdriver and proceeded to make sure everything was secured. Okay now she can half-pay attention to Fanbeemon.] Y'know, you could be helping out instead of bothering everyone over the comm-device. Like gathering some food and water or looking for shelter for the night.

[Well first thing, shocked she knows how a communication device works.]

I can't go out and get food you're the one with the cash. And the way into the room.

What difference does that make?

[Second thing, shocked she knows that but doesn’t know the importance of cash.]

Because you need money to buy food. And we already have a place to sleep for the night,that’s what the room assignment is for.

[Someone who’s lived most of her life underground in a place where everyone had a job to do and monetary exchanges wasn’t a thing here.] ...Seriously?

[Fanbeemon sighs before turning back to the camera.]

Can someone else teach her how to breath please? I think her brains went to her breasts.

You little-! [And the feed cuts. Someone may or may not have a big red whelp where a screwdriver was thrown.]

Comments

[audio]

[greatwork]

... A "gunman" as in a man with a gun? I'm pretty sure most guns do that. What the fuck are you talking about?

[audio]

[pitchick]

Gunmen are mecha. Very big mecha. And they're piloted by beastmen. The only men with guns are the humans they attack that can fight back.

[greatwork]

Okay, so if the "gunman" isn't a gun or a man, then "beastmen" are...?

[pitchick]

Actually beastmen are exactly what the name says. They're some kind of mix between animals and people, though ones I've seen more look more like animals.

[greatwork]

Just getting this out of the way: I want to wring the necks of whoever decided to name shit in your world.

Okay, so... I'm going to skip the "how the fuck did that happen" and go straight into "what the fuck is a mecha".

[pitchick]

It wasn't my idea so there's no point in shooting the messenger. [If weird names annoy you that much be glad you don't know Kamina.]

How do I put it... Mecha are kindof like giant robots that you can pilot. Ron can probably tell you more about the mechanics of it all better than I can, but he's not here.

[greatwork]

[I would hate him so much.]

Like tanks, then, I think I heard about humanoid tanks before somewhere here. Okay, then. Still bloody stupid.

So you have human-animal chimeras piloting robots and attacking humans?

[pitchick]

Yeah, that's pretty much the basics of it. [She could ask what the hell some of those words mean, but they'd be here all day throwing dictionaries back and forth.]

[greatwork]

Which brings us to "why"?

[pitchick]

None of us really know. All we've managed to gather is that they have orders to kill any human that make it to the surface. Who gives the order and why, it's anyone's guess.

[greatwork]

Lovely.

Well, I have good news and bad news for you then.

[pitchick]

[Great. Because this was always fun.]

What's the news?

[greatwork]

No beastmen and no mechs here. But there's still occasional giant monster rampages just to fuck you up, and the world seems to be going out of its way to ensure that we're completely helpless, so the monsters we're contracted to are the only things that can fight back.

[pitchick]

So I really do have to trust this bug with my life?

That's what I keep telling you! [Yeah that one piece of bad news? Way outmatches the good news.]

[greatwork]

Well, yes and no.

When you're in danger, the contract between you basically forces it through puberty in an instant and it becomes much stronger.

[pitchick]

[So what you're saying is it levels up with fighting spirit?]

So this thing grows and gets stronger? But he's a wimp.

Hey!

[greatwork]

Well, not necessarily. Mine shrinks when it gets stronger, figure that one out.

But you might want to be careful. Unless you're storing bombs in those tits or something, it's probably stronger than you, and we've already had one case of a monster turning on its human.

[pitchick]

This is all...a really bad joke. [Sigh. Come on gun work again.]

Look on the bright side, there probably are bombs loaded in those. [Falcon Punch.]

Can it pervert.

[greatwork]

No, it's not a joke, because jokes are funny. This is more like the nonsense seizures of a dying brain.

That why she's covering them with nothing but fire hazard signs?

[pitchick]

[If she could punch people over the phone.]

What the hell? Don't encourage him!

[greatwork]

[then i would be dead a thousand times over]

Well, you are.

[pitchick]

[Hey you can see the fumes.]

This- [Trying to complete sentences.] This is fine! Perfectly fine where I'm from and what I do! [The bikini is essential.]

[greatwork]

Well, I can't say I'm not appreciating the view, but if you're fighting, don't you want... armor or something? Not a bikini and hotpants?

[pitchick]

I don't like wearing stuff that will just weigh me down in a fight. What I have works for me.

[greatwork]

I would think you would at least want them to not bounce around while you're trying to fight.