themainframe | 002

[Hyokomon's got the feed again, and he's looking rather concerned. Something is clearly wrong, but he still politely bows to the camera. Manners are important too.]

I don't mean to impose, but does anyone happen to know how to wake someone up from a bad sleep? It's my partner- [He moves the camera over to the bed, where there's a soldier in orange sprawled out on the bed. So the Digimon has no idea how to take the armor off what about it.]

Ugh... [Pathetic moaning is pathetic.]

He's been like this since the attacks. I think some wild Digimon jumped him while I was distracted.

Bats...so...many bats...they're everywhere...make them go away...

And it has something to do with his crippling phobia. I've tried different remedies that I know of, but nothing seems to work. Perhaps they had some different means of medicine back in his world-

Potato chips...potato chips and Oreos...

[A noticeable twitch from the chicken.] You're faking it, aren't you sir?

[And he continues like he hasn't been completely caught.] Double stuffed Oreos...not the sissy single stuffed...try looking for triple stuffed... [A sigh and Hyokomon draws out his sword. With a quick jab, the tiny blade punctures Grif's leg, making him jump right off the bed.] OW! What the hell Kissass?

[Sheathing his sword.] Never mind, I'd like to put in a separate request. What I need is a human trainer.

Your mom needs a trainer.

I'm sorry for the trouble. [click]

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...

[You can just tell from the look on his face this is exactly what he expected this guy's life to be like.]

[Oh don't give him that look.]

What? Did you want something from the store too? [Zero shame.]

No, stocked up last week. [Sarcasm: Engaged.]

Just trying to fathom what sort of military would let you through basic.

You'd be surprised how easy it is to get in. Especially when the criteria for said military is "be a shitty soldier."

[. . .]

[She grins. Hard.]

How physical can this training get?

Are we going to hurt someone, Commander?

[Monodramon's face: 8D!]

[Gah! What's with that scary look?]

Look lady, I have no idea what you're thinking, but fuck off-

Your help would be most appreciated.

And you can fuck off too Kissass.

[Grif, you an Wheeljack are so alike in many ways, but you're also so different. If anything, Wheeljack was ADD with an unstoppable need of food. He perks an eyebrow at the feed, looking down at You offscreen for a moment.]

Looks like your digithingy's gonna need some playtime sooner or later, buddy.

[You peeks into the feed as well, as her Sheepmon self. Yeah, she might be showing that off to everyone right now.]

Let's go wake him up, Wheeljack!

You, get off the screen!

[Okay, so he's not exactly proud that his digimon's a pink fluffy sheep, okay? Watch him try to push her off the screen a moment.]

Edited 2013-06-24 08:17 (UTC)

[There's only one Grif. Thank whoever for that.]

Dude I already had to raise a little sister. Aren't there, like, Day Cares or school or some shit I can drop him at for a couple of hours a day-

[And there's a pink fluffy sheep.]

-The fuck is that thing?

[Simmons is probably thanking them twice over.]

Buddy, you probably ARE the school-slash-day care.

[Don't mind him trying to keep that sheep at bay.]

Nothin'. Just ignore her.

I'M RIGHT HERE, I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING YOU'RE SAYING! I want to show him my new look!

[Sarge is probably cursing them for making even one.]

Great, and I can't use him as a butler anymore. He's already caught on to that plan.

[Sheep, chicken, we could get together and make money off a petting zoo.]

New look? What? Did you get a perm? Who is this sheep anyway?

That's You. She digivolved.

The rabbit? So the rabbit is a sheep now. I'd love to see my highschool teacher explain this one.

[That idea's not half bad, Grif. Just don't tell anyone it's Wheeljack's sheep.]

Uh yeah! I digivolved into the best thing ever! Don't even say you don't think I'm cute, cause I know you're lying.

Get outta here, You.

[He grips You by the horns, shoving her once again out of the frame.]

Scrap if I know how your evolution works, so don't look at me.

...

That looks like armor from home. Though the coloring isn't familiar. Does your partner have a name? [He's definitely amused though.]

[No fucking way he's hearing things right. That shiv to the leg must've made him hallucinate or something.]

Great, I'm hearing the voices again. Man why can't I have normal things in my dreams and not be thinking about assholes-

[blink blink. Or what can be assumed as him blinking in stunned silence.]

-The fuck are you doing here Wash? [And why aren't you in blue? And who the fuck is babysitting Caboose?]

That's Agent Washington to you. And how do you know my name? [That's a lot of confusion, not the rage the Wash Grif knew managed effortlessly.]

[O....kay what?]

Seriously? Look, I know how much we would like to forget the other even exists, I never thought you would take the initiation.

[And while Grif is thinking Wash is just messing around, Hyokomon catches the tone of the other soldier.]

Are you sure you're not mistaking him for someone else?

You're right, I must be thinking about the pizza guy. My bad. [From the over all slow condescending tone and the pause at the end, yeah it's obvious.]

Sarcasm sir?

Of course it's fucking sarcasm who else am I going to mistake a goddamn Freelancer for?

Look. I honestly have no idea who you are. I came here from the medbay of the Mother of Invention. [That's uncharacteristic bewilderment there. Well, for the Wash Grif is used to.]

He's not an asshole like that anyway.

[Dude stop acting all bewildered and shit. It's creepy coming from a douche like you.]

I don't care if you came from the moon, you're Wash the douchebag Freelancer that killed Donut, and the confused act is getting really annoying.

Do you even know what the Mother of Invention is?

Nope. Probably another base. Because there's never enough of those right.

Unless Donut was an insurrectionist? I still have no idea what you're talking about. I haven't killed anyone with a name that ridiculous as far as I know.

[This is getting kindof sad. Like trying to get a rise out of Caboose. Does he have the right Washington? Do these guys change their names?]

Really? Nothing? Pink armor not ringing any bells? Maybe poetry night?

No. I haven't killed anyone in pink armor. Who the hell would wear pink armor anyway?

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