#1 - Video

[heyloser]

Sooooooo letmegetthisstraight: this is some kinda alternate universe that sucks people in, turns 'em human, throws weird organic creatures at them and tells them they need to save the world or whatever, and I'm "chosen" to be one of those poor saps?

[The Wormmon around his shoulders wiggles a bit and makes a surprised noise.]

I-in a sense... You were listening!

Ehhh, sorta, most of the rest of what you said kinda went in one audial and out the other -- EAR! In one ear and out the other. Human anatomy is really weird. Anyway! [Quickly, back to the comm with a broad, dumb grin and a sigh from Wormmon, who squeaks in surprise when Misfire gestures to her. He doesn't notice.] What's up, losers? The name's Misfire, and this lil' thing here is my partner, Crummy.

C-Crummy?!

So I'm not supposin' the names Krok, Crankcase, or Spinister are ringing any bells for anyone out there? No? 'Cos I know for sure Krok will throw a fit if he finds out I've disappeared, and I'd rather not end up facing whatever corporal wrath he'll come up with -- although last time, he just took me off syphoning duty, which sucked but wasn't unbearable, y'know? Oh! But that's nothing compared to that one time --

Um, Misfire?

[Crummy's attempts to interrupt Misfire go unnoticed, and he continues babbling on happily. Crummy looks at the communicator with an apologetic look, and manages to hit "mute" without Misfire noticing. Enjoy the whole three minutes of Misfire just... talking, only with no audio.]

Comments

[Video]

[robotfightclub]

Okay, this is getting silly! Why is everyone getting names on day one already?! Not fair!

[TAPIR HUFF]

[Video]

[heyloser]

[Crummy un-mutes the feed while Misfire continues on in the background, lost in his own little world.]

I... hope your name is better than "Crummy", though.

...And then Spinister tried to shoot the lights because they were flickering...

[video]

[trimmedback]

Requesting information: your status as an organic being prior to human transformation.

[But, oh, another Wormmon! Bonsai's partner can't contain his excitement.]

Hey! Hey! I know your name's not so great, but... Maybe we can get a nickname out of it? Like... I could call you Ru!

[Video]

[heyloser]

[Oh, a fellow Wormmon! Crummy wiggles a bit in excitement and giggles sheepishly, while Misfire is finally pulled out of his story.]

Oh... I like "Ru"! Thank you.

-- Well I guess we could call you that, too. I like Crummy better. Huh? Oh! I wasn't. Organic, I mean. Cybertronian. Big and made of metal and stuff. [After a pause, he peers into the communicator.] You kinda remind me of Soundwave -- at least, what I've heard of him. Got that big creepy "Soundwave: Superior" kinda thing going on.

[What a charmer.]

[Video]

[trimmedback]

Well, you can call her Crummy, but I'm going to call her Ru. It's more respectful, and it's important to respect women.

[He clears his throat.]

It's nice to meet you, Ru!

[Well, now that Bonsai's Wormmon has nicknamed someone to avoid having to insult them constantly...]

Ah. I spoke to another of your species earlier.

[. . . Superior??]

I'm a metal saleswoman.

[Video]

[heyloser]

[Crummy giggles shyly and squirms further behind Misfire, who just kind of rolls his eyes.]

A metal saleswoman? So do you sell metal, or are you made of metal, or...?

[Video]

[trimmedback]

[If Bonsai understood the concept of raising an eyebrow, she would.]

I sell metal. Between planets.

[Video]

[heyloser]

Ah. Y'see, things like that need to be phrased a certain way, people can get confused.

[voice]

[rustypistons]

Human anatomy is...problematic, yes. You might learn a little more if you didn't talk at a few klicks a minute.

[Voice]

[heyloser]

[Click, Misfire's comm is unmuted, and he stops to take a breath just long enough to hear Ratchet. Also ow, he kind of does need to breathe now, doesn't he.]

Aw, but I like story-time! Helps to remind me not all of life's miserable.

[Voice]

[rustypistons]

[Hm, to tell him the awful truth about the muting or not...]

Easy there--Misfire, was it? Humans can't cycle air without breathing. There is...a lot to learn, unfortunately.

...You seem to be taking the whole thing rather well. Considering.

[Voice]

[heyloser]

[With wheezing breaths:] Yeah, I'm -- starting to -- get that.

Y-you should have seen him before. When he first got here.

Won't lie, I can't say this isn't the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me, but! When you do what I do for a living, you learn to adapt.

[Voice]

[rustypistons]

[If this was video, there would be such eyebrow raising.] And what, may I ask, do you do for a living?

[Voice]

[heyloser]

Baaaaaaaaaasically, wanderin' about planets lookin' for supplies with a bunch of other 'Cons who got separated from their little squads so that we can get back to Cybertron.

Sounds simple, but it can get really weird. Like siphoning Energon from Monstercons but you're running off fumes so you sample just a little bit but it turns out they were on circuit speeders when they died so everything gets all slooooooow.

[Wheeeeeeeezing breath. He's done now, honest.]

[Voice]

[wheeljackofalltrades]

[On the other end of the feed, there seems to be two people (or digimon) discussing something.]

And you thought 'You' was a bad name.

I stand corrected...

[Voice]

[heyloser]

[Crummy finally notices something coming through on the other end of the feed and un-mutes it while Misfire is in mid-sentence, doing his best gruff man impression.]

-- and then Krok was all "Hurr, Misfire, stop sampling that Energon, he died on circuit speeders" --

[Finally, he notices that someone's talking to him. Or at him. Either way, he stops his story and peers into the communicator.]

What about my name?

[Voice]

[wheeljackofalltrades]

[Oh, You's so got this down.]

Wow. I mean I thought You was a pretty silly name but then there's names like Misfire and Crummy and I just feel a tiny bit better about myself--

She's basically sayin' you're a real pro at this name thing.

[Voice]

[heyloser]

[Misfire actually seems to puff up defensively at that.]

Hey, "Misfire" wasn't my choice entirely, you can't go blamin' me for that. You don't see me making fun of your name! ...Uh...

[Voice]

[wheeljackofalltrades]

[You goes to speak, but Wheeljack holds his hand up to shush her. Let him handle this, princess.]

Would help if ya knew it, sparky.

Name's Wheeljack.

[Voice]

[heyloser]

Wheeljack. See, that's kinda -- wait. Wheeljack? Aren't you like a famous Autobot inventor or something?

[If you could see him, he'd be peering suspiciously into the comm right now. He'd only really ever heard about the Wheeljack from his universe in passing, but it never hurts to double-check... right?]

Video

[bigsoftie]

[Half those words went over his head.]

...so you are saying you were a machine?

[Video]

[heyloser]

Well, yeah, if you wanna put it lamely. Though technically, most 'bots I know wanna be called "cybernetic lifeforms".

[Video]

[bigsoftie]

How is it different from a machine?

[Video]

[heyloser]

Thaaaaaaaaaat is a question for a smarter mech than me.

Smarter man.

Eh, details. But obviously, we're cooler.

[Video]

[bigsoftie]

Cooler?

[You mean you're frozen?]