[video]

[greatwork]

[So as the feed turns on, it won't show the person recording. Instead, it will pan over several rather detailed anatomical sketches of several Digimon- Gazimon and Tailmon, Greymon and Kimeramon, Devidramon and Damemon... It seems, after a while, like most of the Digimon inhabiting the city have been drawn here. Each of the sketches also has several notes attached, along the lines of 'strong bite' or 'heat ray from hands', or 'weak vision'.

Rather than turning the camera to show herself, Alex will just talk from off-screen]

So, since a certain fuckhead of a biologist dropped off the face of the Earth before he got me the information he was supposed to, I've been working on a project of my own. A Digimon encyclopedia of sorts, all known ones, their abilities and hopefully weaknesses if we know those, too. Spread the knowledge and give everyone a better chance to survive whatever bollocks shows up this time. Any information on Digimon capabilities would help, if you lot care to share it.

Though, I did notice something while I was doing these.

[She shuffles the papers around until several Digimon drawings are on top- Sakuyamon Miko Mode, Lilimon, Bastemon, Lotusmon, and Darcmon, specifically.]

I get that Digimon are apparently spawned from the data from the internet. That explains why most of them appear to have recognizable forms rather than being completely alien to us, I think, something like Gazimon could have been given form by data on canine form and behavior. There's also a bunch of cat-looking ones, and since most of human output is total shit, I think that explains the Damemon as well.

But why the hell are most of the humanoid Digimon I've seen so far all women, and on top of that, they all look like that? Tits and bikinis, the lot of them. Even Lilimon is an inch of skirt away from showing the world if Digimon get underwear data or not. Where, exactly, is this Digital World getting its data on humans from? Why the fuck is it so skewed right towards knockers the size of my head and wearing less than a street corner hooker? Is this place just getting its data on humans from adult sites, or have I just been extremely unfortunate in my encounters so far?

Comments

[guilmon]

If you want, Guilmon can tell you what he knows about Digimon! Like Guilmon's forms. I've only evolved once here, but I don't think I've seen other Growlmon.

[The other Guilmon becomes a Kyubimon, which is pretty wild!]

But what's an adult site? Is it bad?

[greatwork]

Please do. I'd like to hear it.

[Going to just quietly ignore the second part, though.]

[guilmon]

Well, when I evolve to Growlmon, I get huge!

[He emphasizes this by trying to stand as tall as he possibly can... be fore losing his balance and falling over.]

Growlmon has two sharp horns, silver hair, big spikes on his arms! And when I'm Growlmon, my attacks are Exhaust Flame and Plasma Blade!

[He does a little swipe of the claws at that last one.]

And Guilmon's Ultimate form is called WarGrowlmon! In that form, I'm a cyborg with sharp, metal teeth, robot arms with big blades, and jets on my back that let me fly! It's fun, but WarGrowlmon is too big to really play.

[Wait, he's getting a little sidetracked. Oops.]

Um, and WarGrowlmon's attacks are Atomic Blaster and Double Edge! And when Guilmon biomerges with Takato, we become Gallantmon! Gallantmon doesn't look like Guilmon's other forms at all.

[But then, he's also part human.]

Gallantmon's a knight with white armor and a big cape that looks super cool. We fight with our Royal Saber and attack with our shield. That move's called Final Elysium! Also, Gallantmon looks more human-like, but that might be because me and Takato evolve together. I'm not sure, but I do know that I feel lots smarter as Gallantmon. I use bigger words and everything!

[He should probably touch on Crimson Mode, but he doesn't wanna do too much info dumping at once!]

[greatwork]

-- Wait a moment. Before everything else, what's "biomerge"?

[guilmon]

It's when a Digimon and their Tamer evolve together to the Mega level! We share our strength and help each other fight. It's the best feeling ever because we're really close.

[greatwork]

... The human turns into a Digimon as well?

[guilmon]

[He nods.]

We share the same body, but Takato can still talk from inside Gallantmon. It's like he's floating inside of me, sharing his strength. Kind of like riding on a subway!

[Probably not the best analogy, but at least he tried.]

[greatwork]

That's...

Actually, that makes perfect sense by alchemic principles, achieving balance between two opposites. But what about the mechanism to make it work... Oi, how do you do that?

[guilmon]

Alchemic principles?

[After blinking a few times, he lets out a soft grunt.]

Well, in the Digital World, we first biomerged by wishing really hard! After that, it just sort of happened at the right time. It was harder in the real world because Takato wasn't data, but Dobermon gave us a special gift from the Holy Beasts that fixed that. Then we could biomerge whenever we needed to!

[greatwork]

... "Wishing really hard". Well, that's fucking useless. You're all programs, aren't you? Shouldn't you have an executable you can run intentionally for this shit?

[lionhearted_destiny]

[Excuse her cutting in.] Um... Sorry to butt in, but it doesn't really work that way. Digimon aren't just programs. They're living things. And the power of wishes, it can be more amazing than anything else. In my world, at least... Wishing brought Guilmon to life. It gave the others cards to digivolve their partners to the Ultimate level. It even...gave some of us partners.

It's not just data. I-I know that makes things a little harder for you. Sorry. But Digimon are so much...more.

[greatwork]

Don't worry, I get it. Digimon are just programs, in the same way that a human is just a biological machine. Technically accurate, but fails to grasp the enormity of it.

Do you know if it's an outside force granting the wishes, or the person wishing alone that does it?

[lionhearted_destiny]

[Alex's understanding gets a grateful smile from Juri. Aww, you aren't as mean as you seem, Alex!]

DigiGnomes. That's what granted them, they're, uh...

Lifeforms, like Digimon, who live in the Digital World. [Hello, Leomon.] I haven't seen any here, so it may be safe to say they aren't in this world.

Right. They're like...Digital genies.

[greatwork]

... Digital jinn? That's... incredibly strange and a fair bit worrying. Though, frankly, if you haven't seen them, that doesn't mean they aren't present, they're meant to be hidden.

[lionhearted_destiny]

They never really cared about being seen or not... At least the ones I saw were really playful... But you're right. This place is different, after all.

[greatwork]

Maybe it's because they're not real jinn, then. Or something.

Though, it doesn't matter. The mechanism for that special evolution is either absent or hidden so well it makes no difference, so that option is not going to be available to us regardless.

[lionhearted_destiny]

Well, hey, don't count it out just 'cause it hasn't happened yet. We don't know if it's hidden yet. I mean, only a few people have even reached Ultimate, right? It could still happen.

[greatwork]

Unlikely. You from that world have a different Digivice from us, right? You don't use Crests either. Looks like your fundamental mechanisms are different from ours.

[lionhearted_destiny]

I guess...

Maybe I'll get a crest too. Or... I don't know... How'll Leomon ever digivolve again?

[greatwork]

[If it were anyone else, Alex would suggest "go throw yourself in mortal peril and see what happens".

But it's Juri, so she holds it back.]

Look at it like this: If it doesn't metamorphose again, it means you're doing something right.

[lionhearted_destiny]

But... I wanna be strong. And helpful. Like the others, back home. And here.

You are already strong.

But you could do so much more at a higher level.

[greatwork]

Technically true. Dying counts as doing more.

You're the kind of person who, if you got power, you'd rush out to the front lines to try to help everyone you could, right? A kid like you doesn't need to throw yourself into danger for others.

[lionhearted_destiny]

[Oh dear. Juri flinches, quite noticeably, at dying. She goes quiet and looks down at...something, probably in her lap (her D-Arc).

In a very, very tiny voice, she says.]

I wouldn't. I'd...keep Leomon safe this time.

[greatwork]

[Crap. Okay, this kid has dying issues. Noted, tread carefully on the subject in the future.]

These Digimon are designed to react to danger to us. The best way to keep it safe is to stay safe yourself.

[lionhearted_destiny]

But there might come a time I can't keep myself safe.

[Like the D-Reaper.]

If there's nowhere to hide, and nothing I can do, I'll be in just as much trouble. No-- more. And I can't be protected all the time.