themainframe | [video]

[So as the feed turns on, it won't show the person recording. Instead, it will pan over several rather detailed anatomical sketches of several Digimon- Gazimon and Tailmon, Greymon and Kimeramon, Devidramon and Damemon... It seems, after a while, like most of the Digimon inhabiting the city have been drawn here. Each of the sketches also has several notes attached, along the lines of 'strong bite' or 'heat ray from hands', or 'weak vision'.

Rather than turning the camera to show herself, Alex will just talk from off-screen]

So, since a certain fuckhead of a biologist dropped off the face of the Earth before he got me the information he was supposed to, I've been working on a project of my own. A Digimon encyclopedia of sorts, all known ones, their abilities and hopefully weaknesses if we know those, too. Spread the knowledge and give everyone a better chance to survive whatever bollocks shows up this time. Any information on Digimon capabilities would help, if you lot care to share it.

Though, I did notice something while I was doing these.

[She shuffles the papers around until several Digimon drawings are on top- Sakuyamon Miko Mode, Lilimon, Bastemon, Lotusmon, and Darcmon, specifically.]

I get that Digimon are apparently spawned from the data from the internet. That explains why most of them appear to have recognizable forms rather than being completely alien to us, I think, something like Gazimon could have been given form by data on canine form and behavior. There's also a bunch of cat-looking ones, and since most of human output is total shit, I think that explains the Damemon as well.

But why the hell are most of the humanoid Digimon I've seen so far all women, and on top of that, they all look like that? Tits and bikinis, the lot of them. Even Lilimon is an inch of skirt away from showing the world if Digimon get underwear data or not. Where, exactly, is this Digital World getting its data on humans from? Why the fuck is it so skewed right towards knockers the size of my head and wearing less than a street corner hooker? Is this place just getting its data on humans from adult sites, or have I just been extremely unfortunate in my encounters so far?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No one said you had police officers here.

Just the one, and she's apparently from some bullshit space future where giant monster machines are destroying all life for no reason. So, we're not precisely her jurisdiction.

[Oh, good, then he can keep sleeping on top of his phone booth.]

Then why does she police your... porno?

... You know what, why don't you ask her.

I don't know who she is.

I think her name was Shepard. I'll call.

[As much as Shepard gives out her number to people who she thinks might need her, she doesn't usually get calls from anyone other than the kids and Garrus. Alex is a surprise, and she picks up the phone.]

Commander Shepard here. Is something happening?

We've got someone who, judging by the voice, is a grown man, and he's either some sort of monk or one of those ones who recently became human. You're the one giving talks about that, right?

[ ... what's even happening here. He's so confused goddamn. ]

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