[video]

[greatwork]

[So as the feed turns on, it won't show the person recording. Instead, it will pan over several rather detailed anatomical sketches of several Digimon- Gazimon and Tailmon, Greymon and Kimeramon, Devidramon and Damemon... It seems, after a while, like most of the Digimon inhabiting the city have been drawn here. Each of the sketches also has several notes attached, along the lines of 'strong bite' or 'heat ray from hands', or 'weak vision'.

Rather than turning the camera to show herself, Alex will just talk from off-screen]

So, since a certain fuckhead of a biologist dropped off the face of the Earth before he got me the information he was supposed to, I've been working on a project of my own. A Digimon encyclopedia of sorts, all known ones, their abilities and hopefully weaknesses if we know those, too. Spread the knowledge and give everyone a better chance to survive whatever bollocks shows up this time. Any information on Digimon capabilities would help, if you lot care to share it.

Though, I did notice something while I was doing these.

[She shuffles the papers around until several Digimon drawings are on top- Sakuyamon Miko Mode, Lilimon, Bastemon, Lotusmon, and Darcmon, specifically.]

I get that Digimon are apparently spawned from the data from the internet. That explains why most of them appear to have recognizable forms rather than being completely alien to us, I think, something like Gazimon could have been given form by data on canine form and behavior. There's also a bunch of cat-looking ones, and since most of human output is total shit, I think that explains the Damemon as well.

But why the hell are most of the humanoid Digimon I've seen so far all women, and on top of that, they all look like that? Tits and bikinis, the lot of them. Even Lilimon is an inch of skirt away from showing the world if Digimon get underwear data or not. Where, exactly, is this Digital World getting its data on humans from? Why the fuck is it so skewed right towards knockers the size of my head and wearing less than a street corner hooker? Is this place just getting its data on humans from adult sites, or have I just been extremely unfortunate in my encounters so far?

Comments

Re: [video]

[fuhrinkaed]

Wha-?!

HEY!

I'll have you know that there's someone I like back home, and I was totally just about to ask her out! Like, there was a plan in place!

[video]

[greatwork]

Uh-huh.

Rather convenient that it's 'back home' where I can't confirm anything, isn't it.

Re: [video]

[fuhrinkaed]

Y'know, I'd love to have Cass here if I wasn't like 80% sure she'd try to fire a rocket launcher at an evil Digitamamon or something.

I kinda miss having her around.

[greatwork]

... Right.

The fuck's a Digitamamon?

[fuhrinkaed]

A Digimon that live in its egg.

...you still don't believe me, huh.

[greatwork]

Not at all.

That's a weird Digimon.

[fuhrinkaed]

Yeah, apparently it's a ultimate.

--But that's not important! I didn't make Cass up!!

[greatwork]

Which kind of Ultimate?

[fuhrinkaed]

The kind after Champio-WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP IGNORING THE IMPORTANT POINT OF ME NOT MAKING UP MY FRIENDS BACK HOME?!

[greatwork]

Oh, the dumb kind.

[IGNORE]

[fuhrinkaed]

...Alex seriously if you keep doing that you're going to hurt my feelings.

[greatwork]

The problem, then, is in your having feelings.

[fuhrinkaed]

Or in you being a gigantic butt. [Nyeh. :P]

[greatwork]

He's right, your butt is-

And that is enough out of you.

[fuhrinkaed]

...Are you out of shape?

I uh... go running every morning if you want to fix that. It's hard to keep fighting if you run out of breath at the drop of a hat.

[greatwork]

My shape is none of your concern.

[fuhrinkaed]

You saved my life once, and besides that we're friends.

Your well being is totally my concern.

[greatwork]

Running is boring, I've better things to do.

[fuhrinkaed]

Well... you have to do something. A healthy body is just as important as a strong mind.

[greatwork]

No.

[fuhrinkaed]

...Oh.

You're not amazing enough to be able to theorize and run at the same time? If it's related to paranormal stuff I could even keep up. I'm kind of a pro at it.

[greatwork]

Stop trying to play my ego just so you'll have someone to run with. I'm not interested.

[fuhrinkaed]

[SIGH.]

Gazimon, do you think she should get some exercise?

[greatwork]

She is pretty-

[greatwork]

[WHAPS GAZIMON UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A ROLLED-UP NEWSPAPER]