One Smuppet; Voice

[plushaeusrumpified]

[So Bro's been here for a few days now- not that anyone would know it. He's flipped the elusiveness switch and has been getting his bearings the entire time now. It doesn't help that he arrived in the middle of a blackout, so it's not like he could even do much. But he hasn't really alerted many people to his presence while he's been here, not until he's figured out a bit more about this place.

For anyone who knows him, it should be pretty obvious that he would be happy to be here. This place is fucking right out of the anime, so how could he not? While gathering info and being an elusive bastard, he's also been enjoying himself quite a bit. But he figures it's about time to break radio silence, especially because he's figured out Dave is also here.]

Do you have any idea how much of an inconvenience it was, coming in during the middle of a fucking blackout? That is the epitome of Bad Timing. You'd think if they're bringing in people, they'd time it better, but no. Apparently fucking not.

Whatever though, it's not like I lacked shit to keep me busy- like the fact I was given a fucking Digimon. It's like having the pet I never knew I wanted. It looks like a fucking Chocobo, too. Talk about a nerd's wet final fantasy. Maybe even I came a little when I saw it, the world will never know. You'll never reach the end of this tootsie pop.

Anyway; the name's Bro Strider. Figured it was about damn time I introduced myself, so here I am.

And here I go.

[Click.]

Comments

[ Audio ]

[fullofthorns]

I wanna give you like, some awesome fuckin' speech on...things. But lemme just say...

I fuckin' love you.

Come to the party tonight.

Seriously. Don't be a bitch just because baby had to stumble around without a night-light.

Party in the Caf' tonight, whole place is invited. So show up. I'll be the hot bitch in pink.

So to speak.

*click*

[ Audio ]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He's cocky and arrogant at the best of times, but even he has to be surprised by her eager greeting. Surprised, but not at all against it.]

Get in line, the girls are lining up to get a little of my lovin'.

But as for the party, consider my ass there five minutes ago. What kind of music you got? If you're in need of a DJ, you've hit the double whammy of good fucking luck.

Re: [ Audio ]

[fullofthorns]

[ Someone else to wreak havoc on the masses!? BFFS TO BE. ]

That's the fuckin' problem man, Ipods and phones and everything are busted comin' through she you gotta get a pro to pull shit off them. Dante is throwin' the party with me and he's got mostly 90's shit. Its not bad though. He's got pretty decent taste. Nothing for really for slow-dancin', but it ain't that kinda party.

Gonna be light until late night, then there's an after-party for the legals, if you get my drift.

And babe, I ain't linin' up for shit. We play ball, you're the visitin' team, capiche? You gotta wear the cute "away" uniform and everything.

Wear long sleeves with the jersey, motormouth, its cute.

[ Audio ]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Despite the despairing news about the lack of working iPods and phones, he can't help but let out a laugh anyway.]

You're a goddamn feisty one, I'll give you that. I like you. Tell you what, I'll do it. I'll wear the jersey and hit it outta the fucking park, if you catch my drift.

But tell me two things. When do I get to try out for the Home team, and what's the name of the feisty little chick I'm hitting on?

Re: [ Audio ]

[fullofthorns]

Motormouth, you can try out for the home-team whenever you like, the benches are never full.

And the name is Roze. Like the flower, but prettier.

[ Audio ]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Mm, well I'll keep that in mind. Might have to brush up on my pitching technique, though.

[But... Talk about a slight boner kill. Spelled differently or not, she still shares a name with his ecto-daughter. It makes it slightly awkward.]

Whether or not you're prettier is still yet to be determined. I guess I'll be finding out pretty soon though, won't I?

Re: [ Audio ]

[fullofthorns]

Indeedy do. See you, Motormouth.

[forevernocked]

Wait, your first name is 'Bro'? I'm really starting to notice a pattern with weird names and this place.

As for the rest of what you said. It's, probably something an accredited professional should know about, or something anyway.

If you think showing up in utter darkness is inconvenient, try fighting in it.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yes. Yes it is. Maybe where I'm from, that's the fucking norm. Are you really going to judge me for where I came from? How two-thousand and late.

[He sounds so offended right now- except not really.]

I don't think I'd have any issue fighting in the dark. It'd be an inconvenience at worst.

[forevernocked]

Hey, it can be a norm all it wants. I'm still going to think it's weird, Bro.

...

How can you tell if people are talking to you or just being annoyingly chummy?

[Clint's used to saying something to upset someone, so he's not really going to dwell on bro's tone of voice.]

Yeah, I didn't think so either until a giant bear with a gas mask felt like taking down the building I was standing on at the time.

[plushaeusrumpified]

You know what? I'm gonna start calling you Dude from now on. Then you'll never know when I'm being chummy or using your name. All because you're making a big deal about it.

So that sounds pretty fucking intense, Dude. But I think the obvious solution would've been to stand on a different building.

[forevernocked]

Sure, I mean, I already have enough names, but Dude works for me.

[Considering that they only have voices to go on, Clint's not even sure he'll see this guy enough for him to call him Dude al the time]

Yeah, weird how I so didn't think of that one. Oh wait, I did. Then gave up and just jumped on the bear instead.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[If Clint really thinks Bro is not going to be around enough to hammer this into the grounder, he has another thing coming.]

I bet that worked out real fuckin' well for you, didn't it, Dude?

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

What kind of Digimon do you have that it actually looks anything like a Chocobo?

[Audio]

[plushaeusrumpified]

This kawaii little fucker.

[Bro switches it to video for a brief moment to show off his Biyomon, who looks vaguely confused. He then switches back to audio.]

Ain't it adorable?

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

.... Pretty small for a Chocobo lookalike.

[Audio]

[plushaeusrumpified]

Maybe it'll fucking grow. Anyway, are you the resident Chocobo expert or what? I think you oughta step aside, because you're dealing with a gaming pro and I know all a-fucking-bout them.

[Audio]

[innermonologues]

( What is this guy talking about? Gaming? what does that have to do with Chocobos? )

I know enough to get a kid to call them out when one needs to be ridden.

[Audio]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[It's best not to ask. Just smile and nod.]

That's all? It sounds like I still know more than you.

And I bet I could totally ride this little guy. He looks real sturdy.

[Text like a coward]

[shenunigans]

you are so late for the black out train its not even fucking funny anymore

[Text like a badass]

[plushaeusrumpified]

excuuuuuuuuuuse me princess.
but you know what?
ive been here like a fucking week.
i was just busy.
i didnt wanna make my dramatic and fashionably late entrance until now.
its more ironic this way.
you just wouldnt understand.

[Text]

[shenunigans]

alright then
enlighten me home dog
just what the fuck have you been busy with
because with all the boy scouts here i sure as hell dont think porno is gonna be a lucrative business anymore

wow
wow
first you flake on me
then you act like i dont irony
wow bro
wow


[Look at him expressing healthy feelings.]

[Text]

[plushaeusrumpified]

come on isnt it obvious.
i was choking the chocobo.
no dave i was gathering intel.
trying to figure out where the fuck we are and how we got here.
guess who turned all the fuck up empty.
this guy.
theres like nothing to suggest how we got from sburb to digiburb.
its a fucking mystery.

flake on you.
how the hell did i become dandruff.
and im not saying you dont know irony.
you just dont know it the way i know it.

[Text]

[shenunigans]

good job
a solid A for effort
the less said about sburb the better but changing verses isnt exactly a game changer anymore
belated spoiler alert for that i guess

what im saying is that its fucking creepy that youve been lurking this whole time
im all kinds of surprised you dont have some freaky ass puppet digimon to be your wingman instead of a literal wingman
guess were both birds of a feather though
only mine looks a hell of a lot less gay than yours

[Text]

[plushaeusrumpified]

you cant just drop that little nugget of info and not expect me to jump on it.
so no lets talk about sburb.
lets get all up in sburbs insides and discuss this matter in depth.
gimme the deets.

you did not just call my digimon gay.
your face is gay.
but i dont point that out usually.
youre going to offend my mons delicate sensibilities.
i challenge you to a pokemon bat
i mean digimon battle.
but later.
after weve had our touching family reunion.