4.000 mph ⚡ NAILED IT (video/text)

[chemistryinmotion]

private video call to RISE KUJIKAWA

[Except it's not actually private at all because he forgot to set the filter WHOOPS.

He's smirking up a storm as he holds up his right arm, which is currently in a sling. He almost looks proud about it (and maybe he kinda is).]

Hey, babe, looks like I got sent to the hospital anyway. I'm back at my place now, but if you're still up for it, you could come by later. I'd love to see you in that nurse outfit... and I could really use some good ole fashioned tender loving care right now.

actual private text to KALDUR'AHM

Looks like Rob's gone, too. Guess it's just you and me now.

Comments

[video]

[chemistryinmotion]

[ Wally looks practically mortified , and he stammers for a second while his brain catches up with what just happened. ]

W-What?! No, I — [ I wish. ]

All we've done is kiss! And kinda make out, but then her partner tried to murder me...

[video]

[renegadedriving]

[She snorts a laugh.]

Better than her dad catching you, truuuust me.

[Pause.]

But don't do anything stupid! Pregnancy is bad.

[video]

[chemistryinmotion]

[ Wally kinda chokes on his own saliva and coughs. ]

Uh. Yeah. I don't think we're gonna be doing that anytime soon, anyway, so...

[video]

[renegadedriving]

See, tha's what everyone says, but then she touches your boner and bam, pregnancy!

[video]

[chemistryinmotion]

N-No one's touching any boners!

[ ... fshdlgk wait that's not what he meant but he's not sure if he wants to correct it because this is still public and HE'S ALREADY SAID ENOUGH EMBARRASSING STUFF ]

[video]

[renegadedriving]

But she miiiiight, so you gotta be careful!

[video]

[chemistryinmotion]

I'll be careful! I promise. Wouldn't want a teen pregnancy on top of being a drug dealer.

[ WALLY PLS ]

[video]

[renegadedriving]

. . . Don't mess with me, kid.

[video]

[chemistryinmotion]

... Sorry.

But, come on, aren't we at least past the whole drug dealer thing by now?

[video] THREADJACK

[risette_truestory]

[ Sh-shep! They JUST STARTED DATING. No one is thinking of touching boners maybe yet.

She is just blushing like crazy and staring at disbelief. ]

IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!

[video]

[renegadedriving]

[Shepard chuckles.]

It'd be okay if it was, I'm not judgin'. Just saying, you gotta look out for babies!

[video] 1/2

[risette_truestory]

I'm really smarter than that, Leader ... don't worry ---

[video]

[risette_truestory]

But it really isn't like that!